Letting Go * Top 10 #SYTYCW15 * (LGBT BxB)

Part Sixteen - Happening - Ben POV

Jace was on TV. Not only was he on TV, but he was on the roof of our apartment, with his band, singing. I tried to leave the room but mom grabbed my hand and squeezed. "Listen to the song Benny..."

It was hard to look at him, almost every cell in my body wanted me to run, because it was just too painful. I nodded and forced myself to sit down beside my mom. My heart was already obliterated, nothing could damage it more than it already was. I focused on him, he was on guitar and singing again, so at first I just assumed he was singing the song that he'd sung when the power cut off at the concert in Chicago. But after I listened for a few seconds I noticed the lyrics were different.

"I'm letting go, and letting you in

Because I can't keep suffocating

I didn't know

I couldn't feel

I couldn't see what was right in front of me

But now I know that I need you, come back to me."

I sat back and tried to think straight, there was no way this was for me, he'd left, he didn't feel the same. He couldn't. My shattered heart couldn't take the hope that this song was giving me.

"Honey... Is this..." She whispered. I shook my head, stopping her sentence in its tracks.

"No, it can't be mom." I croaked, but even I couldn't stop hoping that it was.

The devil on my shoulder was cackling heartily, people just don't go from being friendship breaking angry to being in love. Not like this. I kept my eyes glued to the TV, watching Jace was a drug and the past couple of days had been my withdrawal, here I was dosing myself up again. I closed my eyes and stood up. I refused to do this to myself anymore.

I walked back into the kitchen and pulled my switched off phone from my pocket. I turned it on and stared down at it, originally I had turned it off to stop Scarlett trying to change my mind and I had missed calls, a lot of them from her. Then I saw his name among them and my heart sank. He'd tried to call me.

I sat down at the table and stared at the missed call for at least 15 minutes. Eventually I dialed his number and held the phone to my ear. It went straight to voicemail. I frowned and put my phone down. Mom walked into the kitchen and sat down beside me.

"Are you alright?" She whispered softly, sensing I was anything but alright.

"He tried to call a couple of times." I mumbled.

"So maybe that was for you?"

I nodded, but I was still afraid to let myself believe it. For what seemed like the longest time I had hoped he would return my feelings, and now it seemed like a possibility I wanted to hide because I feared being rejected twice.

Before mom could say anything else my phone rang. Scarlett's face flashed up on my screen, with shaking hands I swiped answer.

"You answered!" She yelled, causing me to flinch slightly. "Does this mean you saw it?"

"Yeah." I managed to whisper, my voice was more jaded than I had expected it to be, but the past couple of days had taken it out of me. The last thing I needed was more possible heartache.

"Why aren't you happy? Isn't this what you've wanted?" She replied, she sound incredulous and a little miffed. All the air in my lungs disappeared and my mouth became so dry I let out a small cough.

"It was for me?" I managed to squeak, sounding more like a mouse than a man. Suddenly I felt faint, and it was lucky I was sitting down because all of the energy in my body evaporated to nothing, my bones jellified. 24 hours ago I had thought I had not only ruined any chance of me and Jace, but ruined our friendship as well. Now it seemed that wasn't the case at all.