sacred new beginnings

Chapter 1

There are a lot of things Louis dislikes in life: rain on summer days, people who can't comprehend their privileges, last-minute cancellations — the list goes on. There are many, many things Louis dislikes, it almost feels infinite. Although, there are few things he detests — completely hates. When asked, the first thing that comes to his mind, the first thing on his list, is and will always be arranged marriage.

He partially blames his mother for his hatred towards it. Yes, he is so irresistibly mad and full of loath, that he even seeks comfort in knowing there is someone to blame, and he blames his beautiful, oblivious, beloved mother. One of the few people he adores, he also blames for his misery.

Had her mother not filled him with fairytales and lies about true and unconditional love as a child, he wouldn't be as wretched as he is now. His mother had given him countless of eulogies about love and a happy life with a perfect partner time and time again. She gave him something to look forward to in life. She gave him a goal. She gave him a desire for a life with said partner. He spent days, impatiently waiting for the time to finally come. She gave him hope. Only for her to strip it away from him the second he turned sixteen.

He remembers that day like it was yesterday. He was sitting in his personal library when his parents had entered the room in haste. His mother had been excited, and Louis believes she thought he would be excited too. But she was wrong. "Louis, your father and I have very important news to share with you." He remembers her being unable to control her smile. "You're getting married!" And just like that. No context, no explanation. It was the most devastating zemblanity Louis had to endure.

—•—•—

Harry Styles was his name. He immediately despised that name. He remembers when time would stop when he heard that name, whether it be on the street or at school. It didn't matter, all he remembers is that each and every time his body would fill with sadness that would quickly turn into rage.

What he never understood was the way his parents delivered him the horrible news. They gave him no elaboration. No more information other than the name of the man. No age, no nationality; nothing. They never spoke of it again. In fact, it was as if it never happened. They were both completely unbothered of the fact that their son would marry a man that he didn't know. That made Louis wonder if his parents even cared about him. If they truly loved him.

It wasn't until he turned eighteen that they finally finished what they should have done two years prior. "Louis, do you remember the conversation we had when you were," Louis' mother turned to look at his father, "when was it? Fifteen?"

"Sixteen." The old man replied.

"Ah, yes. Sixteen." She said after turning her head back to Louis. "Remember?" Louis was quiet. He just looked up at them with his big blue eyes. His mother was doing all the talking again. She always did when it came to him and his siblings. Father was always scared to mess up when it came to raising his children — not like he was any good at it, either. "Well, we just wanted to let you know that you'll be marrying him when you're twenty. He'll be twenty one by then, he'll also be inheriting his father's business right before your marriage. Isn't that amazing? He's a handsome young man — and he's filthy rich, too!" His mother was genuinely happy and excited. He wasn't. "Not that you aren't, my dear. It's not like we need the money. But you get what I mean."

"If we don't need the money then why am I marrying him?" Louis finally says something, he knows if he stays quiet his mother will keep rambling on and frankly he doesn't want to hear more about what she has to say.

"It'll be good for your future, Louis. Let's not forget that you'll be settled for life, and secure a good life for your sisters as well. As the eldest sibling it is your responsibility to secure that." His father finally speaks up. And this is why he never talks much. Because everything he says is idiotic. His mother must've sensed Louis' discomfort at his father's words, because right after she tries to cover his words with new information about his future 'husband'.

"Louis, you two will make a beautiful couple, I just know it. He's just a year older than you!" His mother looks at him with a hopeful look. He can see the way she slowly realises that he isn't as happy as her. "He's a city boy, a nice city as well. You know, Manchester?" Her voice slowly lost its excitement. "Look, I know this is a lot to process, but just know that this is a good thing. Everything will be alright."

Louis didn't look at them. He couldn't. How could he possibly look at them? The people that are supposed to care for him the most. It is times like these that make him wonder– - wonder if he means something to his family.

—•—•—

He saw his parents in a new light since then. Father, he was nothing more than a businessman. Mother, on the other hand, well — she was more complicated. She was sweet, nice, and very beautiful. She was open-minded, empathetic. But Louis, he saw her for who she really was. Selfish. He knows his mother never had bad intentions, in fact he believes she doesn't even realise when she's being selfish or not. She is just selfish without realising it. But still, whether she came from good intentions or not, it still infuriated the poor blue eyed boy.

After his second conversation about his future marriage, his parents expected him to not date, or have any sexual relations with anyone. In fact, they prohibited him from doing so. Of course, Louis didn't listen. Actually, the second they stated their mind about it, Louis sought out for a new boyfriend.

He wasn't perfect. In actual fact, he was nowhere near perfection. But, frankly, Louis didn't care. And, call him frigid, because he was merely using him for his acts of rebellion. Not that George was head over heals for him either. The reality is that they both used each other. In the end, Louis used George to piss off his parents, and George used Louis for sex.

(They only had sex once.)

So, yes, maybe he's going to marry the guy but at least he lost his virginity on his own account, to a man he chose. Even if that said man wasn't someone he loved — barely even liked. He chose him. That was enough to justify his decision. And it didn't matter if his first time was terrible.

"Louis William Tomlinson, I cannot believe you would do such an irresponsible thing! Out of all the people in this world you are the person I expected the least!" There it goes again, 'expect'. Expectations, expectations, expectations.

"Louis, you do understand that we made a deal. You're lucky your virginity wasn't mentioned, but we won't be as merciful if you ever do anything as embarrassing and stupid." His father continues.

"Do you even realise how lucky you are to be marrying a man of such power and wealth?!" Her mother follows from his right.

To his left, his father picks up again. "It is an honour! Hundreds of people seek to wed that man each day!"

"I just don't understand why you would do anything like this!" His mother says on the right.

"It ridiculous! You have ridiculed me!" His father on the left.

"You used to be a good boy! What happened to you?!" Right.

"We didn't raise you to be like this!" Left.

"We have done nothing but love you" Right.

"We have given you everything in life!" Left.

Right.

Left.

Right, left, right, left.

When the screaming stopped, Louis got up and left to his room. He hadn't said a word.

He doesn't talk much anymore — not to his family, anyway. Occasionally, he talks to his youngest sisters, but even that's rare.

He used to be a very talkative person. He always loved expressing his opinions, or just his simple thoughts. He loved complaining, he loved praising, he loved talking to himself. But now, he just keeps his thoughts to himself. However, talking is practically in Louis' nature, so sometimes he feels like he's going to explode.

Nevertheless, he sits there on his bed, looking at the crumpled bedsheets that were perfectly flat before he ruined them. What is he going to do once he marries that fool? God, he doesn't even know if he'll have the liberty to do as he pleases. He doesn't even know if he'll like the man — he already despises him. So what the fuck is he going to do?

Shit.