5SOS imagines

Luke - Nothing Lasts Forever - Part 2

You slammed the door as soon as you'd shoved Luke out of it. You leaned against it and slowly slid to the floor, tears immediately sliding down your cheeks. You had never even thought Luke was capable of saying things like that. He was always so calm, so peaceful, so gentle, so kind, so nice, so...perfect.

He had called you a gossip, selfish, interfering, uninteresting, clingy, lonely, with a bad dress sense, and so much more besides.

Did Luke hate you?

You had known you had flaws, obviously. Nobody's perfect. But just because you knew they were there didn't mean you wanted anyone to ever, ever bring them up. Luke was meant to love you, and to care. But was some of what he said true?

Did you always make a fuss? Because the whole argument started over a stupid horror movie. Which he knew you hated, but still.

The tears wouldn't stop, and covered your dress in diluted black mascara, staining it beyond repair, a bit like your heart felt at that moment. Beyond repair.

You and Luke had never argued like that ever, ever before. The only small fights you had ever had were over the last piece of pizza, or chip, or charger when only one was working. But they always ended in laughing, not tears. Always ended in play-fighting, not one person being thrown out and the other sat against the door crying their eyes out, certain their world was over.

Never ended like this.

Tears from laughter, not sorrow. Insults meant lightly, not real, harsh stabs at your heart, slowly cracking down the seams, splitting into millions of tiny pieces, too minute to ever fix back together again.

The break-up obviously wasn't official, but you weren't sure how you'd ever recover from what he'd said. Luke probably wouldn't want you back anyway. Who would want someone so selfish, and childish, and boring anyway?

It was worse than if he'd said something you knew was a lie, because now you had not only lost the best person in your life, you were doubting yourself, and every layer of self-acceptance came crashing to the floor, too frail to cope with even a few insults, and you did not have the strength to even think about building them up again.

--

You could not have been more thankful that the next day was Saturday. After crying for what seemed like forever, you slowly managed to drag yourself upstairs, still with tear streaks down your cheeks. The person in the mirror was a ghost. She was not you. The real you was a happy, loving person, influenced by a happy, loving boyfriend. She hardly ever cried, and she only ever cried about silly things. The girl in the mirror could not be the real you.

You wiped off your make-up and climbed into your pyjamas, not bothering about brushing your teeth. Who could bother about something so small when something so big had just happened?

It was hours and hours before you drifted off into sleep. Memories kept on forcing you back to a wide awake state, bringing on a fresh wave of tears every time. The more happy they were, the more tears were shed. Your crush on Luke for ages, when he asked you out, your first proper date, first kiss, everything. Everything made it worse.

When you thought you'd finally get to sleep, you remembered the first time that Luke told you he loved you, and decided that sleeping was impossible.

You trudged slowly downstairs, unaware of what you were going to do. Something, anything to distract you from the heartache, the pain.

You found yourself in the kitchen, searching through cupboards. You found a bag of popcorn and a bottle of coke, and inched into the living room.

You had brought a blanket downstairs with you, and sat down on the sofa. You rubbed your eyes dry, and picked up the remote.