Stages, Grey's Anatomy

00. a self-written eulogy

prologue
a self-written eulogy

   When she was 29, she watched the blood flow.

She didn't understand how the day would sear itself in her mind, reflecting every time she blinked like a car crash on repeat. The blood, something so red and rich that flowed with no bounds through the fabric of her shoes, her scrubs, her skin. The blood that would leave her questioning if the human body really held only 10 pints of blood. The blood that would have her questioning if the family could still see its stain around, under, on her nails.

She didn't know how much death would follow her after.

Maeve had heard the five stages of grief, everyone had. But until that day, she'd never really believed it. She didn't believe it until she said the words that broke the mother who stood in front of her. Because how could grief, such a big and large and all-consuming idea, be dwindled down into five stages?

She was so focused on the woman in front of her, that Maeve failed to realize how much she was shaking. The tremble of her fingers was quick and unbounded. The waver of her voice—she thought she was far beyond voice cracks, but clearly she was wrong.

It wasn't until the woman in front of her reached out and circled her arms around Maeve's entire body that reality hit her.

She never really believed it until she realized she'd never see her sister again. Until she watched the light leave her mother's eyes and never really come back. Until the very first time death greeted her.

One thing about Maeve—she liked being alone.

It was never something she'd been ashamed of (maybe until the day she realized it may not have been by choice. Because maybe she did this to herself—but maybe she just wasn't all that likable. Maybe at the end of the day, the only person who would mourn Maeve would be herself.)

The image of her sisters' eyes, the crinkle of the corners from one of her last genuine smiles, stared back at her from the frame that rested on her windowsill, and the only thought running through Maeve's mind was how did she get here?

She could only blame herself, the isolation she fed on after Gen's death to keep going, made her into this.

Maybe things were always supposed to end up this way for her. Optimism was never really—

  "Hey Dr. Cai, you got a call on line two, says they're calling from a... Seattle Grace Hospital?"

She missed the knock on the door and the click as it opened but the voice snapped her eyes away from the ones that haunted her dreams. Her head twisted to peer over her shoulder at her assistant who stood in the doorway of her office.

Seattle Grace? 

Maeve let out a low hum, "Yeah, I'll get it."

She swiveled around fully in her chair to face her desk, reaching for the phone to answer the call.

  "This is Dr. Cai," she greeted, met with a brief silence on the other end.

  "Maeve."

  "Dr. Webber."

It had been a while since she'd spoken to the man, both of them living on different coasts of the country, and demanding jobs made catch up a little hard. He'd said her name as if this wasn't unusual for them as if a call from out of the blue wasn't something that should surprise her. To say the call was unexpected would be an understatement. To say she never expected to hear from the man again would be a more accurate assessment.

The hospital name, Seattle Grace, rang familiarly in her mind. She'd briefly heard the hospital name before in passing, but so much time had passed since she'd thought about it. She could recall that Richard was the Chief of Surgery, which only made his call pique more interest from her.

Silence filled both ends of the line, Maeve could hear the clearing of his throat, "It's been a while."

  "It has," She offered no more to the conversation but when it became clear he wasn't going to either she spoke up again, "How can I help you?"

  "I need your help."

Just as the refusal was about to slip off her tongue, he uttered another phrase, one that would change everything. One that would end her:

  "And you owe me."

Maeve knew then, that when she was dying and bleeding, she would be the only one to pick up a pen and write her ending.

authors note;
I AM SO BACK!!!!!