𝐴𝑅𝐶𝐴𝑁𝐸. － 𝑂𝑁𝐸 𝑆𝐻𝑂𝑇𝑆

Caitlyn x insecure!reader

Disclaimer ⚠️
The following chapter may contain sensitive topics to certain readers. If you or someone you know struggle with some of the behaviors depicted in this oneshot, know that it will be okay, and it will get better. You are not alone.

Caitlyn pov:

"Darling, you haven't gone to the water yet, is something wrong?" I say to Y/n, approaching her on the beach. "Hm? Oh, no, I'm just invested in this book." She shyly chuckles, looking up to the book she's been reading for the last hour. She gets back to reading before stopping and looking back up. "Shit! Sorry, tone clues! You want me to join you?" She says wide eyed, red peaking on her cheeks. I chuckle at her reaction. I know she's always had trouble picking up clues from peoples tones and sarcasm. I find it quite cute, actually. "If you want, my love." She nodded. "Go on, try the water, I'll be right back with some food for us yeah? Then we can eat and swim more after." I smiled. "Oh, um, actually.. uh im.. not that hungry." She shyly smiled again, something hidden in her expression. "You aren't? But you haven't eaten all day?" I raised an eyebrow. She just shrugged. "Im just not hungry. I could go for weeks if I really wanted too." I quickly shook off the confusion. "That's okay, love. We can just talk and I'll eat." I smiled. She nodded and grinned. "I'll be right back." I waved. She put the book down and stood up. "Okay, be quick." She smiled and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. I nodded and started to walk away.

Y/n's pov

As she walked away my smile faded. I turned around towards the water. I didn't want to be here. I look all around me. I catch myself staring at a girl. The girl was certainly intriguing to every eye. She was perfect, actually. She curved perfectly, her arms and legs the right thickness. She looked amazing, and beautiful. She was perfect. Unlike me. Unlike me who was uneven, awkard, and built like a stinky middle school boy.

I held my stomach in disgust, feeling sick as I approached the water. Not many people were here today, that was good. I shivered at the feeling of the ice cold water and continued to go deeper. Why was I like this? The water was up to my waist. I hate myself. The water began to reach my stomach. Why am I so ugly? I stopped when it reached under my chest, and felt myself zoning out. The chatter of people drowned out and it was like I was all alone, just whispers if doubt circling my thoughts like sharks. Y/n. Why would anyone love me when I look like this? Y/n. Especially Caitlyn, why does she even love me? My heart hurt.

"Y/n!"

I snapped out of my thoughts to see Caitlyn on the shore with food on our towels. She seemed concerned. I quickly waded back to shore and back to our beach towels. She pulled out an extra one for me. "You okay sweetheart?" She nudged me. I nodded. "Yeah, why do you ask?" I smiled. "Love, you know thats not true, I saw you out there." She furrowed her brows in concern. "Its okayy," I laughed out, "I was just enjoying the water, and the smell." I assured her.

She sighed. "I suppose so." She held my cheek for a second before we sat down. Unsurprisingly, Caitlyn had brought a large salad back. It had normal salad ingredients plus the aditional black olives and salmon, along with a sauce I wasn't familiar with. "Wow, you were really hungry." I giggled. "Actually.. I figured we might share it? I know you said you weren't hungry- and I don't mean to- I mean-" "Caitlyn. Its okay, I appreciate the thought." I kissed her cheek and rested my head on her shoulder.

By the time Caitlyn had finished, we stayed in a similar position, my head on her shoulder, hands intertwined. My eyes wondered around, until they rested on the woman from earlier. I stared intensely at her, her body, her features. I felt Caitlyn hand slip away from mine. I felt something was wrong and looked up, dreading my correct hunch.

Caitlyns eyes were narrowed on me, her brows furrowed in a clearly upset position. "What's wrong Catie?" I backed up. "I should ask you." She muttered. "What?" "Don't think I haven't noticed." She scoffed, "You avoid eating, not just today, a lot recently, and out in the water? It was like you were somewhere else, and god I can see you staring at other girls, often, pretty girls." She ranted. "Are you- am I- are you not happy with me anymore?" She questioned.

"What? No!" I cried out, grabbing her hands. "Thats not whats going on Caitlyn I promise." I said, quieter this time. "Then what is?" She pleaded. "You won't tell me anything!" Her eyes saddened. "I.. Caitlyn. I hate myself." I mumbled.

"What?" She whispered. "I hate myself, how I look, how I act, there are people so much better than me. Im holding you back." I muttered, letting go of her hands and holding myself.

"No."

"No thats not true. Y/n, I love you for you, okay? No ones better for me than you. I just wish you told me sooner." She reached for my hands again. "You mean that?" I asked. "I do. We're going to get you help okay? And I'll be there the whole time." She said softly, pulling me into her. "You promise?" I squeaked out.

"I promise."