Insecure Love

Part-1 |Insecure|

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“Again lost in thoughts”

My husband said making me look at him

He came towards em and hugged me 

“Ready to go”

He said and kissed my neck 

“Hmm”

I simply replied and broke the hug to get my purse

Jungkook just looked at me

As i was about to take my purse with was kelp on the bed 

Jungkook took it and kept it on the nightstand 

He pulled me by my wrist and made me sit on his lap

“I'm not leaving you unless you tell me what's bothering you”

He said and hold me from my shoulders

“It’s nothing koo”

I denied and tried to get up from it lap but he pulled me back

“Really nothing it’s been 2 weeks you are behaving so differently you know you share it will me i swear i won't judge you for it please tell me whats wrong”

He caressed my shoulders in comfort and looked at me all lovingly

I signed i cupped his face and said

“Koo it’s nothing i’m all good whats makes you think i'm acting differently”

 “ i'm seeing you used to be so cheerful and now all i see you lost in your own thoughts and you changed you style you used to never wear baggy and dark coloured clothes and why you are distancing yourself from me do you know when was the last time we cuddled, kissed you always look so lost doll”

He spoke out and looked at me in disbelief

I looked down 

He signed and made me look at him

“Doll you know i don’t wanna burst out at you but love i just wanna know what’s bothering you-”

“Koo-”

“No doll don’t cut me in middle i know something is bothering you and i’m afraid to lose you i married you to be in your good and worst so please doll you know you share it with me”

I signed and nodded 

“I understand you koo and don't worry i’m all good okay”

I gave him a smile with he respond by smiling back 

“It’s just i was feeling down but now i’m okay and now please koo dont ruin your mood because of me and cheer up okay”

“But doll-”

“Enough now look at the time we are getting late”

He just signed and nodded

I was about to get up from his lap but he pulled me back 

And pecked my lips 

“I love you darling”

He said and smiled showing his cute bunny smile

How badly i wanna say those three magical words but can’t 

I smiled back and got up from his lap 

After taking my purse 

“Lets go you don’t wanna piss your mom by being late right”

He chunked and got up from the bed and came towards me

“Let's get going then”

After locking the door we sat in the car and started to head towards jungkook’s parents house 

They called us for dinner to celebrate our 6 months of married life

Yes it’s been 6 months our marriage was an arranged marriage but we never knew when this arrange marriage turned into love 

Jungkook confessed in 2 months of our marriage 

But i'm a coward who express my feeling to my own husband 

I was from a middle class family and jungkook was a son of multi millionaire 

Our meeting was an accident 

What happened was jungkook accidently dropped his coffee on my dad and my dad went all bunkers on him but his anger just vanished as soon as he saw jungkook's dad 

He apologize on behalf of jungkook and played for my dads clothes

And that's how both families became each others regular guest

No one knew jungkook before our marriage because he wanted to complete his studies like a normal student 

And his parents fulfilled his wished

And soon his dad asked for my hand in marriage with jungkook  

I never wanted to agree into this marriage 

But my parents said yes without asking me

My parents always made me insecure 

They always compared me with my brother 

And because of this i used to think i’m not pretty enough to marry a handsome man like jungkook

I used to suffer from anxiety because of how my parents treat me 

Before our marriage i never talked with jungkook

But after marriage he was like a therapist to me i used to forget anxiety after talking with him i never told him about my parents treating me and my insecurities but still he's always there to lightin up my mood

But my insecurities again took over me after i went to meet them weeks before Getting called a burden, ugly and more hatful stuff by my own parents was not easy these words used to hurt a lot 

I sometimes feels like i don’t deserve jungkook he deserve someone who’s perfect and that's what stopping me from confessing him

and maybe that’s the reason why i’m always lost in my thoughts

I was just looking out the window lost in my own thoughts when 

“y/n!!”