Lonely

Final

Kibum was twenty three when he realized that life wasn't for him.

His life wasn't particularly bad, it was just exhausting and lonely.

He had been a child without parents, a teenager without friends, and an adult without dreams.

Life wasn't for him, and he accepted it.

-

It was raining when he made up his mind.

He left a note, but he wasn't sure how long it would take for someone to find it. The note had no word on why, but it had his will. All it said is that he wanted all his things donated. All his possessions, all of his money, none of it really mattered to him in the end.

He walked towards the bridge, handing over all the cash on his wallet to the homeless man who always sat in the alley near his building. He kept his driver's license in the pocket of his coat just to make someone else's life easier. He was tired of his, why make anyone else's harder?

-

He ended his life that night; he had just become too tired to live it.

-

He wasn't too sure if he should call it waking up or falling asleep.

Death was called eternal sleep.

At first he thought he was somehow still alive.

He didn't think grass would feel that soft after death or that sun would feel that warm.

He took a breath and he felt free. Like he was finally okay.

There wasn't work to worry about, false friendships to uphold, or a sad life to live.

There was nothing to strive for, and it was the best feeling he had ever felt.

-

He didn't know how long he laid there. The moonlight felt just as warm as the sunlight and the grass always felt just as cool.

He never knew he could be so happy laying in a meadow surrounded by woods, and he began to think that an eternity listening to birds and rays of sun would be so enjoyable.

He was lonely all his life, somehow knowing that there wasn't a person in the world that could ease the loneliness.

Maybe it was because Jonghyun wasn't alive.

-

It could have been a few hours or a few decades- if time was even applicable- later when he finally left the meadow.

He walked in the direction that may have been all directions.

He would've ended up in the same spot whichever way he walked. Even if he hadn't gone anywhere, he would have still ended up at the exact same spot.

"You're here."

He was smiling- it was warmer, more comforting than the sunlight- and, for a moment, Kibum thought he was in the presence of an angel.

He quickly remembered that that the being before him was something much more incredible, something much more beautiful-

His soulmate.

-

"I missed you." Jonghyun's head was resting on Kibums lap, chocolate eyes staring back at his own. "Time goes by too slowly when you're away."

Jonghyun's eyes slipped shut as fingertips ran through his hair and Kibum's light chuckle drifted through the air.

"I didn't know it, but I missed you too. Lets stay together next time, alright?"

Jonghyun only nodded, sleep and the comfort of having Kibum near making him feel like he could finally rest in peace.

"I don't ever want to live without you, it's lonely." Jonghyun managed to whisper before drifting off.

Kibum bit his bottom lip to hold his smile as he watched the soft rise and fall of Jonghyun's chest.

It was good to be whole again.

~~~~~

Something I wrote out really quickly because the idea popped into my head xD

It's quite confusing, so feel free to ask me questions about it in the comments :)