exile (a 설강화 ending)

Her Exile

After being caught by Ahn Gyeong-hui and Nam Tae-il on the fourth floor, and being pulled out of the arms of the blood-drenched love of her life, Eun Young-ro was forced to stay on the ANSP torture chamber, in a room alongside the journalists and students kept by the agency to force them to talk. But even the people around her was screaming at her, forcing her to spit out words and the password of the Swiss bank account, threatening her to get the same amount of bullets on her communist bastard of a boyfriend's back, she remained mum and numb. She was not beaten up except for her eardrums, but at those moments, she only feels defeated, and was already willing to die with whatever way they want her to. But Nam Tae-il couldn't do anything to her as he was bound to die in the hands of his dictator boss without the money. Bringing Soo-ho's bag aided no one. Even the envelope was useless. They knew only Young-ro knew the password.

It took four days and the election day result for Eun Young-ro to step out of the contained room, thanks to Jang Han-na, who found her. Seeing Lee Kang-mu behind her as she kicked the door open, it was the only moment Young-ro felt the emotions rush through her: that the past days had been painful beyond comprehension, that she was torturing herself and Soo-ho would hate her for that, that they should have been saved that day... And Kang-mu read her eyes. In the arms of Han-na, she cries as she finally see daylight and snow again.

As she was brought to safety on Jang Han-na's simple home, the two adults tells her of the life after the hostage taking: Kang-mu was able to get back to the dorm to check them both, only to see Lim Soo-ho dead on the fourth floor. They were able to retrieve and bury his body, and they would be willing to bring Young-ro there. The two was also able to send a message to Kang Chung-ya, who arrived in the North safely and even contacted them on her own, so they could also reach Soo-ho's younger sister. After the elections, and the ruling party's candidate won, he immediately ordered the "dissolving" of the ANSP, along with the jailing of the three officials who handled the hostage--including her father, Eun Chan-sung.

For now, as his promise to his younger brother Soo-ho, Kang-mu swore to find and protect Young-ro. He even jokingly brags he was able to put a bullet through the head of that SWAT team leader who ordered to finish them both. Now both civilians, the two adults decided they should all live together for now, awaiting for what Young-ro wants to do moving forward.

But feeling like a ghost wandering around with no emotion and direction, she only follows what Han-na tells her to do. The next day, Han-na tells her of the clearing operations done on the dorm for it to be habitable and open again for the students. The older tells her of Miss Pi's desire for Young-ro to live on the dorm again, but she decides she would just grab her things and find herself a separate home for herself instead. Kang-mu and Han-na refuse the idea of her being alone and insist still staying with them, which Young-ro had no power to argue against anyways.

Before going straight to the dorm with her newfound guardians, Young-ro finds herself walking back inside the Evergreen Bookstore. Even just by the entrance, she could already picture Soo-ho again, standing by the window with the music sheet on hand, looking at her with his round eyes and slight smile, the way she remembered at the side of her eye as she rushed to exit the store when they first met. She stood by the door, with their first bumping flashing through her eyes, over and over again. She started whispering a prayer asking what should she give to the gods to be in that moment again. Or if he was still here with her, now she knew he loved music, what would be his pick as a tape to buy? What did he pick here back then? Was he into classic piano pieces? Maybe rock? Does he have a favorite South Korean musician? Or maybe, North Korean musician? Can he play the guitar? What does his singing voice sound like? She was not even able to know even as basic as his music taste, because time did not allow them to have those little moments to get to know each other more.

In her small steps, she walked to the same spot where she bumped into him. Compared to that spring day with the cherry blossoms blooming, the windows now showed a light snow shower outside, falling on the crowded people as if no tragedy came forth a few days ago in the school grounds. Perhaps, no one else in this area, or by the people around her, knew the traumas and stories that unfolded inside those gates; she did not know the spectacle they made of their situation. The world may not revolve around those who were held against their will by the government in that dorm, but still, life is unfair for her, who could not even comprehend how to move forward.

She feels tears building up on the side of her eye again, and she took it as a sign to hide herself from crying again. But as she bowed her head, she sees a journal and a book, just on the shelf of new and empty tapes. The buyer probably changed her mind and felt too lazy to return the items on their original places. The book, Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez stands on the shelf, while a black hard-bound spiral notebook lies on top of the tapes. She wanted to bring the two items on its proper place at least before she leaves, but she was mesmerized to see the cover of the notebook: a white pigeon engraved, flying high, with a quote written below: 고생 끝에 낙이 온다 , "At the end of hardship comes happiness." It brought her back to Soo-ho, whose last words to her resonate the same, who told her he wanted nothing but happiness and peace for her. Who was not there for her anymore... Her chest tightens up again, but a soothing backrub eases her. When she looks up, she sees Han-na beside her, calming her down, pushing her to come outside to relax.

But Young-ro's own feet stops her. Han-na anticipates, as Young-ro regulates her breathing to calm her nerves.

"Han-na-ssi."

Startled by Young-ro's first words for the day, she becomes alert. "Why? Is there something wrong? You want to go to the hospital?"

Young-ro slightly releases the notebook she hugged to show it to her, then turned her back to point the tapes on the shelf. "C-Can you buy these for me? I will pay you when I get my money on the dorm."

Amused by the charm of Young-ro, she submits. After everything she went through, in her eyes, she still looked innocent and needed care. Kang-mu told her enough of Young-ro's own fights and failures inside the dorm to know it was all too much for a 20-year-old. She related to her on having a government official father giving up on her for the fake sense of nationalism in the dictatorship and the passionate desire for everlasting and greater power. So, anything she can do to help, she would. Whatever it may be. "No need to pay me. I got you."

After their purchase, Young-ro rides again on Han-na's jeepney, now bound straight to their destination. Miss Pi, Kang-mu, and even Bun-ok, were already waiting for their arrival. While Young-ro, even unexpecting of what is about to happen to her during her return to the place of her trauma that costed her so much, can only hold on to the pigeon necklace hanging on her neck for comfort. After all, he gave it to her for her protection, and to make her feel he was there with her no matter what.

Soo-ho-ssi... She whispers as the jeep nears the stairwell, on the main entrance of the dorm. I'm back here.

I miss you.