The Human Condition / / [Frerard]

7: The Sad Little Virgin

"How come Frank and Lindsey get the day off?" Jimmy whined, annoying everyone within a mile radius and, quite frankly, sounding much less of a bright nineteen year old studying medicine in University and a lot more like a pink-haired five year old being denied candy.

"Because, Jimmy," Kitty sighed, growing painfully sick of going through the same explanation countless times to the whiny punk whom she had the pleasure of calling her friend, co-student, and bandmate, "Frank has been out all night, and Lindsey is...sick."

She didn't want to get into the explicit details of Lindsey's 'sickness', partly out of not knowing how comfortable her best friend would be with people knowing and then partly, of course, out of denial.

"Well Frank is definitely home now," Ray grudged, crossing his arms angrily like a seven year old, and Kitty started pondering when, exactly, she had taken custody of these two angsty manchilds? "I heard him fucking that Gerard dude at, like, six this morning. The fuckers woke me up..."

Turns out, Ray did hear Gerard and Frank this morning and, like Frank had rightly predicted, he was most certainly not happy by the whole ordeal.

"Nice, Frankie got laid," Jimmy, unsurprisingly, was probably more fascinated in the specific details of Frank's, or anyone's for that matter, sex life than Ray would care to accept, because Jimmy was a pervert by heart and Ray was nothing more than a bitter little virgin with an undying crush on one of his friends.

"Who the hell is Gerard?" Kitty dared to ask, because Frank wasn't the most conservative of gays and he met with, and slept with, a whole variety of different men, and Kitty was curious, to say the very least, who the next guy to bed Frank Iero was.

"Frank's boyfriend," Jimmy put far too much strain on the word 'boyfriend' just to make sure Kitty understood that Frank Iero was, finally, taken and wasn't just sleeping around as per usual. "They're dating and everything."

"It's gross," Ray shivered, yet another undeniable expression of his anti-relationship self (unless it involved him and Kitty, or maybe Megan Fox - He liked Megan Fox). Ray Toro was pathetic at his very best. "I mean, Frank has started using soppy pet names around him, like 'sweetheart' and 'honey'."

"Good for Frank," Kitty smiled, genuinely happy for her too-short-for-life friend, unlike his best friend, who was just downright douchey regarding the matter. Then again, Ray was always douchey, no matter the matter (too much matter, maybe?).

"Yeah, Gerard's hot too," Jimmy felt the need to comment on Gerard's looks because, well, as we all know, Gerard is hot.

"Jimmy, your pansexuality is showing."

"Kitty, your annoyingness is showing."

Immature, but classic Jimmy.

"Seriously though, why were they so loud? Like, why do people feel the need to show how much fun they're having? I never got that..."

"That's because, Sad Little Boy, you are a virgin. Like it or not, you have never experience sex and, like all other virgins, you do not understand the pleasures that loud sex gives you...Or just sex in general. Sex is good. I mean, vaginas? Awesome. Penises? Awesome. Put them together? Double awesome. Same goes with asses, toys, boobs, or anything else that brings that amount of pleasure to humankind's perverted brains," Jimmy explained rather explicitly, but he felt like he was doing the world a favour by enlightening a virgin to the world of sex.

Ray, on the other hand, felt very differently towards the situation, wanting to punch Jimmy straight in the jaw for exposing his darkest secret: His virginity.