Bluejean Baby | austin butler

two

Hallie Jane

I woke up and looked around the dark room. I wasn't sure what time it was but I knew it was early. I felt two arms around me and knew immediately that it was Austin. I remembered everything from last night as it came in flashes.

Not because I was drunk or anything in fact I hadn't drank enough to even consider it a glass. It was because of me being so sad. It came in stages, between all the memories of the time before I fell asleep, the crying, the thoughts of other peoples families, the sentence I apparently said out loud and the kiss.

I slipped out of his grasp and went to the bathroom. I felt the nauseous feeling in my stomach again, I didn't know when it was going to go away but I knew the second I stepped foot in the bathroom I would instantly throw up. It's like my body knows it's okay to do that. I stepped over toward the toilet and leaned down, slowing starting to feel the feeling rise up from my stomach to my throat as I released everything into the toilet. I wiped my mouth with a piece of toilet paper and stepped up to the sink to brush my teeth. When I was done I went to the kitchen, passing the bed where Austin was sleeping peacefully cuddled up in the blankets and sheets, I swiped my phone from the nightstand and continued walking. I started a cup of coffee and listened as the coffee started to fill the pot.

When it was done I poured it into my mug and left the rest of it attached to the coffee machine, as I made my way to the balcony. This is where I spent my mornings before I started my daily cry. It was kinda embarrassing having to have my breakdown out here while people are on their morning commutes. They can hear my sobs from the sidewalks downstairs and wonder if it's birds playing around or if there's a horror story taking place in my building.

I sipped the cup of coffee, and looked out at a small girl who was holding her mom's hand as she walked down the sidewalk with her book bag on. Playing hopscotch on the sidewalk squares and let out loud belches of laughter as she smiled up at her mother. I looked on the other side of the street and saw a teenager with a book bag on skateboarding down the sidewalk with a go pro out in front of him as he did random tricks, blowing past people on the sidewalk just casually walking and saying a quick apology as he zoomed off.

This city never sleeps ever, I swear there's something going on 24/7. Which is why it made it so fun to live here at this time of my life, but in this small piece of my life I wished I lived on a back country road where there's nobody around for miles while I stared at the cows in the field munching on grass. I knew that was never going to happen in this bustling town.

I heard the door crack open and there was Sarah, standing in her robe with her hair a mess. "Goodmorning." I said. "Goodmorning, how was your night?" She asked. "It was good, He's asleep in my room right now." I said. "Oh shit. No fucking way." She said, slapping my arm. "Holy shit did you make this coffee? I'm gonna have the shakes." She added taking a sip and scrunching her face up. "Sorry geez. Anyways, yeah nothing happened. Just a kiss before we went to bed because I have a fat mouth and can't stop talking." I said. "No way a kiss?!" She yelled. I slapped my hand over her mouth. "Literally, shut up." I said. "Okay, Okay sorry. Can we talk about this later then?" She asked. "Yes. When he's not in this house." I said.

Just as I finished that sentence the door opened, and I jumped up to meet him inside before he had to come out here. Maybe I could stop myself from the daily meltdown if I did something else at that time. "Do you want some coffee?" I asked. "Sure! And a toothbrush please." He said. "Oh my bad. Second drawer on the right." I said. "I'll bring the coffee in there." I said. "thank you." He said with a soft smile before disappearing into the room.

l followed in there a few minutes later and watched as he stretched and walked out of the bathroom. He changed back into his clothes from last night, and handed me the folded clothes he wore to sleep last night. "Thank you." I said. "No Thank you." He said. I smiled. I handed him the coffee. "I'm sorry about last night." I said. "For what?" He asked. "I had a breakdown and I didn't mean to do that in front of you." I said. "You shouldn't have had to deal with that, I know that's not why you came here." I added. He placed his hand on top of mine. "Not true. I came because I know how it feels and if you want to have a million breakdowns in front of me, I promise i'll be here." He said. I smiled.