I HATE YOU MUM - Genshin One Shot

I HATE YOU MUM

"Mum, literally all you ever do is sit in that stupid Plane of Euthymia or hang out with your girlfriend.  And she's annoying!  She makes fun of me for being short, and for my hat, can't you just get rid of her?"  Scaramouche yelled at Ei.

Ei obviously did not take this well.  "Boy, I brought you into this world, it'll literally take me two seconds to take you out of it.  Do you want to face the wrath of the Musou no Hitotachi?"

"I don't care.  Do it if you want, not like you'll lose anything from it.  Guess you can just add another trophy to your collection then."  he screamed, "That move has killed many, and torn families and friendships apart."

Ei sadly knew this kid all too well.  "Oh?  And you haven't?"

"It-it's different.  That's my job.  It's not your duty to execute your people."

"Alright I see.  Well, Miko is coming shortly, and you need to be on your best behavior.  Or I will not get you a new hat.  And no shoes that will make you taller."

"But mum!  Everyone makes fun of me for being so short.  Why did you have to make me this way, you're tall, and I'm short.  It's not fair."  He went over into a corner and sulked, for hours.  Ei really knew how to play on his insecurities. 

"Ei!  How have you been?  Please tell me that the child isn't here.  He's so rude!"  Yae came and said.  "Oh.  Why is he in the corner?  What did you tell him this time?"

"Oh, I just called him short."  Ei replied.

"Ha.  Well, it is the truth." Yae responded.  That's when the little Fatui Harbinger came over and gave his mum and her girlfriend a piece of his mind.

"What is wrong with both of you?  It's not my fault that SOMEONE decided I needed to be so short, it's also not my fault that same someone has the most ANNOYING girlfriend ever, and she feels the name to execute her citizens after losing a duel before the throne.  She has a literal collection of weapons from the people she's murdered."  He yelled this so loudly, the building began to shake.  

"Well then Miko, what should I do?  Should I execute him, and keep his ugly hat as a trophy, or should we just leave this little gremlin here, and hopefully won't kill anyone."

"I personally think option one would teach him more of a lesson, but since it's a little extreme, even for him, just like, lock the little one in a room."  Miko replied, glaring at Scaramouche.

"Well then, you heard her, go to your room, I will be putting chairs against the door so you cannot leave for snacks while we are gone.  Also, you're grounded, give me your hat."

"No mum, I am not giving you my hat."  He replied, angrier now.

"Alright.. 1.. 2.. thr-"

"Fine.  Take it, bye I guess."  He walked up to his room, imploding on the inside due to anger.

Ei 1 Scaramouche 0.