The Documentary Of A Crashing High School Student

A Fruitful Event

Hey there. This is my first time writing so spare me the poor choice of words. My name is The Creator (Diary do not consider me as Tyler the Creator I would literally sock you in your invisible nuts). I'm your average teen going and studying in Canada, Toronto specifically. Now, where shall we begin? Oh I know just the thing for ya, Mr. Diary person

Love

What makes love so unique? I've wondered this myself. Is it to cover the secret desire for affection? Maybe it's just to protect your secret horny desires? Yeah, I know this is gonna hit one of ya, if not all. Well hey don't worry if it is, it's totally cool! (I relate...) See after a longggg while of thinking I decided to go back to my first relationship. It was pretty cool, some would say pretty... Never mind.  Let me tell you what's special about love.

Love is special for one reason. That person you "invest" the care and love you have for them, the desire to protect, to help in the growth of mind and so much more... For me, however, I learned that the hard way haha. Let's go back a bit if you wouldn't mind. I don't always document my deeper thoughts but I'll do it.

This was a special day for me to be honest. The day she said yes was the day my heart finally stopped racing in fear, that one feeling that haunts us all. The desire to throw endless affection at her. God, don't even get me started. See that's how things went at first. From love to lust, from empathy to desire. That sudden urge to just... Take over. Make things sensually... appealing... It just slowly grew. Now before you think this is a cringe topic that shouldn't really be considered read something of a "nice scenario" I created in my head. Tho an NSFW warning so hope you can handle it my dear "beloved" diary.

"I stared right at her eyes... That constant desire to push her down... to mark her as... 'mine'... I couldn't breathe right, from slow to fast, from calm to panic these ideas wouldn't leave me alone. To just... push her down kiss those beautiful lips of hers... To hear those moans as we take it further"

Yeah, I won't continue but you get the idea. The stimulation it causes is an... "exotic" sort of thing. Why exotic? In a way, exotic is like something rare. Not super rare just not something you see in your everyday life. Love gets us hooked because that person we care about gave us something we don't really get often. Care, affection, desire, words of encouragement, compliments, really well-written thoughts with sexual intent (for the horny people of the audience) and so much more.

So basically what I'm saying here is... Love is everything in that first paragraph I said and more. Love is an emotional rollercoaster of desire, compassion, bravery, strength and growth. However, with all its plus points there are also its minus points. Let's say they break up with you. Maybe their parents don't approve or he/she just isn't ready. That idea is something, though it hurts, it's something you're willing to accept because YOU. LOVE. THEM. That idea is sweet but lets add another twist. What if they went back on their word? What if they just said that because they had no way of actually caring? What if

They just never loved you in the first place?

Don't you ever think that you bastard. If they show you care and concern you should never doubt unless there really is evidence. Ok now back to my story. So let's just say that's the case. How would you feel? That person you deeply care for... just with someone else? It's fine since they're happy but how does it REALLY make you feel? You may feel... broken, empty? Maybe you may even blame yourself? Who knows. With each person comes different reactions. That's what I felt. It's what I feel. But that's just the thing.

Love is an emotional rollercoaster. You'll feel like you're on top of the world but there will also be times you'll fall so fast you'll forget to even take a breath. This is what makes love so special. It's one hell of a ride that really opens your eyes. It opened mine. Now I do the one thing I can and shove my feelings aside. Whether it's been a few years or months from the time it ended. The reason I care... I don't know. But I know I've lost her. So before I close this Mr. Diary reader person...

If you ever get a conscious or magically incarnate yourself as a person, don't waste a second. If you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, take her out. Spend time with her and give her the love she deserves. But at the same time make sure you get it back too. Maybe they don't know how to be vocal about what they want. Keep communication as a key to that success. Who knows you may even get an award haha.

And hey if you're a single bastard like me, don't waste an opening ey? If you see a chance to ask your special person, don't miss it. It may be hard of course but would you rather lose the chance to possibly win the person of your dreams or just... You get the point. Please. I encourage you because I don't want you to feel like me anymore. The Creator is ultimately my name and though I can't change it, I can possibly encourage you to change YOUR life. I'm not that special but a little trust in me. 

See ya next time Mr. Diary person