charmolipi: a short story collection.

The Waltz

"To whom do you owe the biggest apology?"

The music continued, our hands intertwined and moving to its rhythm, as I stared at him in amusement. Perhaps my disguise was working well today, as he talked to me like one would do to a friend. It has been such a long time since I heard someone address me informally, and I refuse to acknowledge that the feeling that came with it was one that I found pleasant.

He saw my expression and immediately looked away. "My apologies, my lady. I was taught it would be pleasant to start a conversation while dancing. Made it more enjoyable, you see."

I smiled. "No, you did not have to apologize. I was just surprised by your question. It certainly isn't something you ask a stranger, but I do not mind at all."

"If so, to whom do you owe the biggest apology?" he asked once more, now regarding me with a slight grin.

I paused for a moment, contemplating my answer. I didn't want to answer the question too deeply, afraid I might scare him away. He was good with his feet, and I enjoyed dancing away from the suffocating walls of the castle. Him leaving too soon would not be well in my favor.

"To myself." I finally said.

I felt his feet stumble a little while waltzing. He looked at me with worried eyes, the way one might look at a person who was nearing his final days. Like he wanted to save me but he knew very well he couldn't.

Of course, he knew very well.

"To yourself. Why so, madame?"

I chuckled when he called me 'madame' and looked at his eyes. They were dark and stormy, but occasionally the light would hit them and I would see a tinge of blue. I looked forward to those moments.

"I need to forgive myself for all the things I have become, but mostly for everything I haven't."

We continued dancing. He stayed quiet for a long time, with only the music filing the silence. I didn't start a conversation and instead observed him. I thought he would be satisfied with my response.

The man was tall, far taller than me and I was told to be taller than average. He would occasionally smile at someone from across the room and could never seem to focus on one thing. His mind was in all places at the same time, and questions like the one he asked me were probably plaguing his mind right now.

To be in his position would be too tiresome.

"Then I would like to owe my biggest apology to you, madame."

I furrowed my brows as I turned. "Why so?"

He smiled. A smile that knew it was impossible, but he would be doing it anyway. "You will know."

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

"The 57th Empress of Ouegia. Her Majesty, Empress Cassiopeia!"

The ballroom hushed and shushed.

I sighed as I made my entrance. No matter what I did, my unwelcoming appearance did not do well in public events such as this. The people despised my pale skin and dark hair, whereas they preferred those who looked as bright as the sun and smiled in every conversation. I never expected my people to be so hostile to their ruler, much less the beloved daughter of the emperor they adored who was still mourning her father's passing.

The untimely death of my father, the emperor, had me at the throne at the young age of nineteen. No one saw it coming and the Imperial Healer has blamed himself, begging me to execute him in front of the masses. When I declined, he did it himself. His act of self-sacrifice was not taken well by the nobles and they all blamed me for allowing such a gifted healer to be taken away by death, while the commoners saw it as a proof of my incompetence. The attempt to fix my reputation would just be futile, and I have long resigned to fact that my people will see what they wanted to see.

In contrast to the people's attitude towards me, my father was loved by all. He was a just ruler, incredibly witty and I looked up to him all of my life. He taught me personally every time he had the chance and was by my side even on times that I had failed to carry out the duties as his successor. As his only child, I was already expected to inherit the throne albeit not this early. To assume that the citizens of Ougeia – both commoners and nobles alike – dreaded my ascension to the throne, is no assumption. It was the truth.

Everyone was quiet as I entered the ballroom, but I could feel their eyes crawling at my back. Every single one of them was looking for a fault, a mistake – waiting for me to stumble or embarrass myself. Or they were just repulsed at the sight of me.

"I am incredibly delighted to see you all tonight-" Not. "-and it is truly against my better judgement to hold you back with a long speech, so let the banquet commence!" I announced as enthusiastically as I could. The silence after I spoke led me to think that I sounded too coldly, but the cheers that erupted (although not as cheerful as I initially hoped) was enough assurance for me.

"Her Majesty is yet to find a husband, no? I hope she is well aware that she needs to hurry. To leave the kingdom in the hands of such a ruler...all I feel in my heart is disdain!"

"Hush now, Lady Amelie. Her Majesty is still mourning. How can you expect her to get married weeks after the former emperor has passed? It is perhaps your marriage to the duke's that has turned you into a much crueler person!"

"Do not jest me. It's been weeks, Lady Ingrid! Weeks! And the empress does not have a consort! This kingdom is bound to fall. She needs to strengthen her political influence or the throne will be taken from her sooner or later. The nobles despise her, you know that. If she fails to earn the support of anyone, she will be nothing but a puppet Empress."

Lady Ingrid caught my eye. I looked away immediately, pretending I hadn't overheard their conversation. I wanted the night to go smoothly as much as I can help it.

"Her...Her Majesty may have heard us, Lady Amelie." Lady Ingrid said while my back was turned against them. I sighed, knowing that if I left, it would give them reason to trample over my authority sooner or later.

I smiled, the best I could, before turning to face them. "I have indeed." I revealed. I hated the way my voice sounded icy as if I was threatening them. I was not and had no intentions to.

"F-forgive me, Your Majesty! Please behead me!" both of them shrieked.

"I believe I was known to resent people who ask me to kill them. Is that not what the rumors say?"

"N0! Not at all, Your Majesty!"

"Even rumors started by you both?"

"Please behead us! We do not deserve to live!"

I admit it was quite fun tormenting them.

"Well, if that is not what the rumors say, I believe it would be just for me to behead you both. How bold! To talk of the empress that way in a banquet that she herself has arranged!  I ought to retire for the night if I should contact my good friend, Hector. He knows the best executioner of the century. You would not mind, do you, Lady Amelie and Lady Ingrid? I should also ask which day would it be best to hold your executions, what to do with your families, hmm..."

Both women were trembling on their feet right now. Lady Ingrid quickly gave up and kneeled in front of me, while Lady Amelie was close to weeping.

I chuckled. "Hush now, ladies. The rumors are true. I despise killing."

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

I met the strange man once again.

Now, I was empress and he was a candidate for consort.

-

Now this, is an excerpt from a project I might be turning into a book in the future. I have the plot planned out for this one because I liked it so much, but I cannot multitask for the life of me and one book to regularly stress about is more than enough. I am also hesitating to continue this because I am not very knowledgeable in politics and my only source, as embarrassing as it is, are historical manhwas.

Speaking of manhwas, this was heavily inspired by it although the plot was something that I personally came up with. I hope you liked this one as much as I do, even if it's raw and unpolished when I published it.