"Do this. Do that. You're going to do this. You're going to do that. You are NOT going to do a damn thing. I control you. What I say goes. Oh, you need to focus on school work or your health? Yeah, no, not going to happen. You need help from me? Why can't you just do it yourself?! You're just like your father- quiet, keeps to yourself, can't do a fucking thing on your own. Just some kid that can't do shit. Now, leave me the fuck alone. Don't make a sound. Go do this."
Words that I have heard too many times within 18 years. Words that are embedded into my mind. Words that stop me in place, petrified. Words that have taught me to be afraid of you instead of looking up to you. Words that linger in my mind and prove to me that I am not me- I am your pawn. That I am not good enough for you. That I will never be good enough for you.
And all this time, you've been trying to turn me into you. First the anger, then the fight, and now, now my fucking language. But here's something for you - I'm me, I'm my own person. And not some fucking mini version of you. I can do things on my own. I can not be controlled by you anymore. I can not live in fear of failure because of you. I can not live like this anymore, and this, this is me detaching myself from you, hopefully, forever.
