Why Family Reunions are a horrible Idea

Why Family Reunions are a Bad Idea

Every  Summer my dad packs us all up and we go to Minnesota, to see his side of the family. Dad tricks us by saying we will have fun. He cannot fool me, I know we are only going so we can attend the family reunion. See my dad's  side of the family are all Kind of irritating. My dad has 3 siblings. First is my Uncle Berry, he is my dads older brother 5 times removed 3 times re added. Berry is just a good old boy , and honestly he will let us all commit mass genocide before he stands for anything. Secondly we have my dads sister Carry, she is my dad's younger sister and she is as absent minded as they come. Lastly is my dads younger brother whom we will not mention , because I do not care enough to give him that much credit. 

While I was at the family reunion in good ol Saint Paul  Minnesota, it was worse than I could ever imagine. I brought a whole backpack full of books, and I kept myself busy but of course my Aunt Carry has to come and  treat me like im 5 years old still. "M would like to play a game instead of reading that book?" Or my dads younger brother questioning as to how much of Steinbeck do I really understand the question is did he ever read Steinbeck?  Honestly though the worse of all was my dads dumb younger brother who had to call my cousin over facetime and think that I wanted to say anything. One afternoon as I was sitting in a lawn chair  enjoying my book, and trying to ignore any sny remarks from any of my aunts or uncles; A giant clash of thunder hit , I looked up at the sky grumbling to my self " Stupid Minnesota weather!!!"  I picked up my book  and started to march back into the house. When I opened the back door , I surely was not at my Grandpa's house anymore. When I looked down at the floor then up at the walls  and noticed that the walls  all were covered with grease.  My first thought was "my stupid uncle can't clean the damn floor if he spilled something?!" Suddenly I heard a noise coming from the garage, and I being a curious person go to see what the noise was about.  When I open the door , I spot my Dad , his older brother, his sister, and everyone else crowded around something chanting " Stuff your face pig!!! You pig stuff your fat face!!!!!" I make my way through the small crowd to see my dads younger brother drinking Bacon Greese and eating doughnuts by the box. He was not even human he was just oinking like a fat  pig. I smiled and watched as he got fatter,  right when I thought he couldnt look worse, he exploded from all the Bacon grease and Doughnuts. After he exploded everyone stopped cheering and the garage fell silent, I look around and ask "does anyone have a mop??"  I walk back into the house so I could do 2 things first being get a mop to clean the mess and second being to pack up my stuff. I hope Dads learned that Family Reunions are all around horrible ideas.