Separation

[25]

*AUTHORS NOTE*

Holy moly, I've been in this coffee shop for 3.5 hours, just furiously typing away to get this chapter done for you guys.

It is the end of 'Separation' as we know it.

Y'all really went above and beyond last chapter with all of your comments! Please, do it again on this chapter, I beg of you! Y'all made me so happy I can't even put it into words.

CW: suicidal thoughts, nonconsensual activity.

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Day 240

He made me breakfast in bed today, and he made all of my favorites; hash browns cooked well done, crispy bacon, cinnamon pancakes, a bowl of fruit, and he made my coffee just right.

He's being very gentle, and sweet with me. He's given me more forehead kisses than I can count, and he didn't yell at me once today.

Don't fucking fall for it. I can't believe I have to say this shit to you. Edon snapped at me.

Maybe he's changing his ways, and it just took a while for it to happen?

Touch your stomach. Tell me if a person who did that is capable of change.

I lifted my shirt and traced over the lines of his name, and bit my lip to stop the tears from falling.

She's right, she's always right. What would I do without her?

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Day 247

He found out.

He found out that I haven't been taking my "anxiety medicine".

I was supposed to ask for a refill last week, the day that he was really nice to me. He was only nice because he knew I get anxious when asking for things. I should have known that something was going on, that he had an ulterior motive. When I didn't ask for more pills, he grew suspicious, and waited a week just to see if I would gather the courage to ask, that maybe I was especially nervous to ask for more.

He tore through my room and bathroom until he found the bottle of suppressants. I had them buried in the winter section of my closet, since it never got cold enough here to wear anything he bought for me in that section.

I dropped to my knees, and I begged him, I pleaded with him, not to make me take them again. That I didn't like how they made me feel, and that they actually made me feel worse.

He didn't buy any of it.

He shoved three pills down my throat, Edon screaming at me to fight back; that it's better to die trying than to live in oppression. But I had no strength, not when it came to him. I was weak, and a coward, and I couldn't do it.

And just like that, I was really, and truly alone.

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Day 263

I was walking through the kitchen, on my way back upstairs after breakfast, when I saw out of the corner of my eye that the basement door was visible. My heart skipped a beat as I pondered going downstairs, just to see a glimpse of Ryker. I haven't seen him in a while, and I really miss him.

What would Edon do?

I have to ask myself that every now and then, now that she's gone. I want to start taking only one pill a day, but Theo has my meds rationed out to be three a day, so he would know.