Just me

Help Me!

On the outside we seem like happy normal people but the truth is we're dying more and more each day, the thoughts of ending everything, leaving the world and never coming back is the strongest thought you can have when you're suffering from depression.

Growing up I had very few friends then no friends and now when I fake who I am to please others I have so many friends but the problem is those friends are just as fake as I am.

When someone asks you "Are you okay?" they're not asking for you they don't want to hear your real problems they're asking because that's just the normal thing to do they don't want to hear that you're dying that your world is crumbling around you that no matter where you go the pain will never end

I wake up every morning and dread the day not because the weather will be awful or that the people annoy me but because to put it in simple terms because I hate myself
I hate looking at any reflective surface and seeing the hideous woman staring back at me, I hate helping people when all I do is destroy myself
I can't wait until the day that I turn around and follow the advice I give other people who are suffering the same things I'm suffering

I just want to be a normal happy teenager not a spiteful hideous bitch that does nothing but put herself down
But nothing is that simple, for years I tried to search for a cure a reason to live for something that gives my life meaning
But like I said nothing is that simple...

I may see the world but the world doesn't see me
the world is beautiful but we the ugly destroy it's beauty for the satisfaction of petty desires

I destroyed my world and now there is no repairing the damage I have made