Despite our worries at first, she was healthy. As I sat there on the edge of her bed, clenching her hand and occasionally squeezing in reassurance, I pondered everything we had been through up until this point. I crept a smile, staring into her dark pupils. Like chocolate, so sweet and fair. She had already endured a lot; thankfully she never caused her any pain. We received news that all our worrying was for nothing. Never kicked, rarely moved. Like a princess, stuck up in her tower. But the doctor reassured us of smooth sailing...For the most part. These final moments as a two-person package made me realize, and think back to a time when we first planned this out. Those moments in the early stages of our relationship, to now. I began to well up, now grimacing from ear to ear. She met my expression with her own, tilting her head to one side slightly and smiling warmly at me.
"I hate to see you cry my love." She croaked in her raspy, morning voice.
I couldn't help it. Promise after promise was made, and I was finally ready to become a father of my word. I circled my thumb behind her palm, squeezing gently. I inhaled shakily through my tears of joy that I could no longer sustain behind my eyes.
"You're beautiful..." I said, pausing.
The room was silent with the exception of the occasional beep from the heart monitor. I sucked up a ball of snot, sluggishly glancing over at the time. I read the clock at 13:02 before my glance met her eyes once again, chuckling to myself through my teeth.
"You haven't slept in...what does this make... thirty six hours?" She started. "You should get some sleep darling."
"Sleep? At a time like this? That's nonsense."
"But the bags under your eyes they're getting-"
"I'm fine baby! Really!" I assured in a gentle tone. "Don't you worry about me now, you have your own battle to fight."
She repositioned her head with a half solemn smile, patting my hand.
"After all of this is done and over with, I think we could both use a well deserved nap." She joked.
I found my smile once again, wiping my eyes briefly before laughing. It brought me joy to see that she was still in a comfortable mood for jokes.
I hated seeing her like this, despite the knowing of the process.
"How soon do you think we'll be able to get home-" she continued before her face scrunched up, her mouth to a gasp. I shot up almost immediately, the chair squeaking as I leaped from it.
"Oh my god...Is it happening?" I asked dumbly, startled by the suddenness. She didn't reply. Instead she just groaned as she glanced down at her legs through squinted eyes and turned brows.
"Should I call a doctor or uhhhh....uhhhhh!" I panicked.
"YES!" She barked through all of her pain.
I rushed over to the button to call them in, immediately darting to the glass door to turn the handle.
"Doctor! We need a doctor!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. I was awake now.
They came in a hurry, swarming through the door and almost crowding each other as they filled into the room. I was asked to leave the room, following their orders in worry. As the door slammed shut in my face, I took no time to look through the glass at what was going on. There were too many of them around her for me to see, all dressed in the same blue and white uniform. I edged on, trying to get a better angle with no success. It was hopeless. I gave retreat to one of the plastic chairs directly across from the door, tapping my foot repeatedly against the tile impatiently. I held my head in my hands for a second before shooting to my feet, as I began to pace up and down the hallway, peaking through the glass on occasion. My mind racing, I began to twist the hairs in front of my ears nervously. What if she doesn't live after giving birth? What if she's forced to get one of those C sections? The intrusive voices in my head boomed, the fear of losing all of our progress haunting me. I banged my head against the coarse wallpaper and let it rest there for a brief moment. I was a sitting duck.
