Caleb Joseph and his roommate Sonic the Hedgehog

I Was Just Trying to Read a Bad Boy Book When Sonic Showed Up

Caleb sighed, stretching his arms above his head. Another, $5 book, written for bored moms, sat beside him with a bookmark stuffed in the middle. Absolutely nothing happened in the 150+ pages he read. His eyes were beginning to sting and his brain was slowly rotting from the one-sided dialogue strung together by the generic businesswoman who apparently needed some random guy she met at her best friend's wedding to teach her how to have fun again and the jerk with nothing better to do. Ironic, considering how boring the book progressed.

"Can I make a video about how nothing happens? How am I supposed to justify reading this? Should I just DNF it and move on to another book that I can make content out of?" Caleb wondered to himself. "No, it hasn't even been nasty yet. Something's gonna happen. It has a four-star review from its target demographic. It'll go somewhere."

He sat there, silently staring at the book beside him. "And it'll happen later. I need a break." He rubbed his eyes and pushed himself off the couch. His mouth was dry and his stomach grumbled. He wandered over to the fridge, peering inside. He stood there, eyes scanning the contents, but nothing seemed appetizing. The freezer and pantry were equally underwhelming. Caleb pulled out his phone and checked his recent views on the last video he made. "Yeah, I can treat myself."

The question was what to order.

Yelp was a quick search away. He started scrolling through nearby restaurants. Sushi, burgers, tacos, there were healthy places too, but after a few minutes, Caleb decided to play it safe and get pizza.

Rather than read that terrible book again, he went on his laptop and started editing while his food was still being prepared and delivered. Caleb left his headphones around his shoulders, so he could hear the video as he edited, but could also listen for the door. Minutes ticked by as he got work done, but as he kept going, his stomach was growing louder. If the clock was right, over an hour had passed. The estimated time had only been forty minutes when the order was placed.

Everything was paid for, tip included. All the guy needed to do was hand it over, so where was he? Caleb groaned as he continued editing his video. After another twenty minutes passed, he pulled out his phone, ready to call the restaurant and get some answers when there was a knock on his door.

"Finally," Caleb muttered as he shut his laptop and stood up, beelining it for the door.

Some teenager was struggling to pull his order from the insulating bag when he opened it. "Sorry, football night. Everything's a little backed up," the guy apologized.

"Oh, that makes sense," Caleb nodded. "Thanks."

The box was warm in his hands, still steaming. It may have taken a lot longer than normal, but at least it was fresh. There was a thud as the guy quickly slammed the door shut on his car.

"What the hell?!" Caleb exclaimed.

His eyes widened as he could only stand there frozen, watching as the pizza delivery car was hoisted into the air by a giant metal claw. One that was attached to a robot. The hunk of metal was at least 15ft tall with an oval body held up by four arms. It tossed the vehicle down the street. There was a huge dent in the trunk from the initial impact before it rolled, landing on its tires. Somehow, the delivery guy managed to drive it away, slamming on the gas as he sped down the street.

There was a blue streak of light, and something was slamming into the robot, ricocheting off the top and into the air. It was a blue, cartoonish-looking anthropomorphic animal thing with big spikes on the back of its head. Alien, it had to be, but why was it wearing a pair of gloves and sneakers? It landed in the street, pointing at the robot. "I'm gonna have fun turning you into scrap metal," it remarked with a grin.