•I wanna be yours•

•1•

Hi! English is not my first language so im really sorry for any mistakes. Please feel free to point out my mistakes. Im writing this book for fun and to improve my writing skills. Enjoy!
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George's POV

I woke up to the annoying noise of my alarm. Sun is peeking through my window as i lay on my bed staring at my ceiling. No thoughts in my head. No emotions. Just numb. I don't remember last time i felt something other than sadness and emptiness. Even though im still young i feel like I've lived enough.

Its true i may be ungrateful for what i have but it doesn't matter when you feel like its not what you wanted at all. I dont even know what i want.

But the feeling of missing something, the feeling of loneliness even though im surrounded by people who care about me, the constant feeling of wanting to run away from this all, to leave this city, country or even this life, never seems to go away.

Even though i have millions of fans that seem to care about me, every one of my friends adore me, i cant find it in me to love myself.

Its true i live the life that anyone would trade for anything. But its not the life i want. I want to live with someone who loves me for who i really am not for who i pretend to be. I want to live without a care in this world, not giving a shit about anyones opinion. But i cant. I care too much about other peoples opinions, about what they say about me, what they think about me. And that really sucks.

Welp thats enough of depressive thoughts. For now.

I get up and make my way to bathroom. After my everyday morning routine i walk downstairs to my kitchen.

You see, i live alone in my two story house, so that makes it even more easier to get lost in my very much depressive thoughts.

I dont feel like eating right now so i just drink a glass of an apple juice and go back upstairs to my room.

I sit down on my comfortable chair that is in front of my desk with my set up. I turn on my computer and open discord to see if anyone is online.

And yep my best friend Sapnap is online so i decide to call him and catch up on things. We haven't talked in a few days because he said he was visiting his family. Today he should be back home.

After a few seconds he picks up. "Hey Georgeeeee. I missed you" he says very enthusiastically. At least he is in a good mood. A smile makes its way to my face hearing his annoying voice

"Hey Snapmap. Sorry i cant say the same about you" i say playfully.

"How dare you. I am heartbroken now" he gasps making fake crying noises.

"Anyways how's your meet up with your family?" I ask

"It was okay I've really missed them. But im glad im back home, they can be too much sometimes. What about you? How are you?" He asks. He is one of the only people who knows about how depressed i can get sometimes.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired i guess" I say. He only hums in response not fully convinced. But decides against saying anything knowing that i dont like talking about my feelings. There's a silence for a few minutes until he spoke up again.

"Oh! Guess who i met!"

"Who?"

"You should guess Gogyy" he said in a cheerful tone.

"Uhhh Obamas mom?" I say and laugh at my own joke.

"Ugh fine I'll say it myself since you are too dumb for this" He groans in response

"Hey! What the hell" i say trying to sound offended.

"I met my old friend. We used to go to the same school. We were pretty close actually so it was nice to catch up with him. And he said that he is moving to where i live so we pretty much will be neighbors." He rambles ignoring my comment.

"Oh thats nice. But it would be better if you met Obamas mom though. Anyways so when is he moving?" I say trying to sound interested.

"Im not sure but i think he is planning on moving next week. He is really nice. Im sure you two will get along. His name is Clay by the way." He says. Oh and by the way we(George and Sapnap) live not far away from each other. Just a 10 minutes of a walk away.

"Pffffft- who carries their child for 9 months and names their child CLAY? No offense but out of all the names that exist?!" I say laughing

"I know right! Like actually what kind of a name is that?"

"Oh shut up your name is literally Snapmap" And just like that we talk and laugh for a few hours like we used to.

After that i feel tired so decide to take a nap before streaming. And just like that i drift off to my deep slumber.

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W/c: 882
Im sorry if i hurt someone's feelings whose name is Clay, i meant it in a jokingly way. Any thoughts? Any suggestions for future chapters? Stay safe and hydrated lovelies <33