The Rants of A Mentally Numb Teen

I Am A Rose

I guess it's the fact that I was never truly cared for that made me so attached to, not you but, the attention that you were giving me. Honestly, it felt overwhelming. I woke up to your messages every single day and whenever I was down, you could always tell from my attitude that something was wrong. You knew me better than anyone else did but it wasn't because you wanted to. It was because I chose to reveal my true identity to you when no one else had that chance. Trust me, I regretted that decision as soon as I did it because the reaction I got was something I had never expected, but again, don't we all expect too much when we shouldn't? Now, I won't exaggerate. You weren't a judgmental asshole nor were you keen to me. You were the complete opposite which drew me more and more towards you until one day you started to act colder than you usually do. You never acted this way with me before and it was at that moment that I realized that things weren't going to be the same. I'm a complicated person with complicated thoughts. I withdraw myself from everything that wouldn't hurt me and deposit myself into a bin filled with crap. I know, it's fucked up. But do you blame me? I'm a fucked up person. I'm a mess.. I keep washing my brain with acid causing myself to drown in my own lethal thoughts. In other words, I might be alive but what's inside of me is a dead soul longing to be touched again. What's inside of me is a dark wreck desperate to be illuminated with love. What's inside is something you will never comprehend which is why you left like everyone else. I was a rose once. I once used to emanate flagrance to the ones around me until one day, I started losing my scent. My stem started to get tired and slowly I was dying. Yes, a rose I have always been and always will be, but I'm not like all the other roses. I am a rose with thorns. I am graceful, but I can't be touched. So here's a tip my dear friend, the next time you decide to walk into my life and make me feel like a daisy in a field of roses, know that my thorns will protect me from you and leaving me won't move a single emotion of mine as I have none of that left.