[Short]
"You seem to have a narrowed airway, which may be causing you problems in the middle of the night." Great.
"We would like to keep you overnight to observe your symptoms so we can give you the proper diagnosis and medication," he finished as Joohyun's hands became sweaty and clammy.
She squeezed her arm tighter to calm her racing heart, "Okay, I'm ready." the doctor nodded before collecting his papers and exiting the room.
Joohyun mentally prepared herself for the suffering she was about to put herself through.
Soon after leaving, the man came back with a hospital gown and shifted her to a bigger room, which was significantly colder than the last one. "Do I get a blanket?" she turned around and asked the tall man.
"Of course. I'm going to need to hook you up with a few wires, and you will handle the rest," the man said as he grabbed a thin but big blanket from behind him.
He opened the door and led Joohyun to the middle of the room, where somebody would observe her.
"If you need anything, I'm just in the next room over. Did you need me to contact anyone? Any family?" Joohyun thought about it.
She most certainly didn't want to scare any of her friends away from her because she suffered heavily from something so trivial.
"Call Seulgi. Her contact should be the first on my list," she murmurs, and the man nods. Joohyun thinks to herself, "This is a little frightening."
"I've called Ms. Kang. She said she would be here as soon as she can be. It's currently nine-thirty. We will begin testing at ten." Joohyun weakly smiled as a way of responding.
The doctor leaves again. Second thoughts began to rush through her head. Was this a good idea? What if Seulgi gets upset at her?
This could result in a lot of good or bad for her, and her intuition was leaning towards more of the wrong side. However, it was most likely her nerves just talking.
She also thought of explaining everything to Seulgi. She was sure the woman would be curious about who Jennie was invading her thoughts and why she was slowly stealing Joohyun from her.
What to say to Seulgi will be the most challenging part, Joohyun thinks.
There were a million ways to explain it, and Seulgi could come up with another million outcomes to counter every explanation. That was scary.
Joohyun didn't know if there was a natural way to tell Seulgi just how much she wanted to describe to her who Jennie was, what she meant to her, and who she could've been if she were still here.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Seulgi quietly entering the big room, "Hyun." she peers her head out from under the blanket. "Is this really how you want to do this?" Seulgi whispers.
Joohyun shakes her head. "Then, why are you here, lying down?" Seulgi continued, "Because this is the only way, Seul. the only way to figure out how to get rid of these nightmares," she finally spoke.
"You don't have to do this, Hyun. You don't have to put yourself through all of this. There are other ways."
"What other option do I have?" Seulgi breathed heavily. "Look, I know you want them to stop, but if you make yourself suffer more, I won't let you go through with this. "
No response.
"This, Jennie. Did she have some significance in your life? Should I be jealous?" Seulgi asked, almost sounding like she was threatening Joohyun. "No, of course not, you shouldn't be."
"Then why are you so mysterious about her? Why does she plague your mind so much that it makes you restless?" Seulgi exclaims, "Was she so special that you couldn't help but dream about her every night?"
"It's not like that, Seul." Joohyun was beginning to get fed up. "So, mind explaining to me why she-"
"She's dead, Seulgi! Is that what you wanted to hear?? She is dead, and she is never coming back to me or anybody else!" The unusual outburst surprised Seulgi.
"You didn't know Jennie the way I did! You don't know the countless days and nights I spent with her because her friends couldn't make it to half of their plans."
"And you especially don't know the bond I had with her long before she died. So, don't tell me what I can and can't do when this is all to get rid of her."
"Can't you understand that I'm in pain? I've suffered through this bottled grief and pain alone since she died. And I'm haunted by her existence!"
Seulgi seemed not to care.
Her expression was expressionless, and she ruffled her hair in frustration. "You think I don't know what it's like to lose a close friend?"
Joohyun looks away. That pulled Seulgi's strings and in all of the wrong ways.
"You know that's not what I meant."
"I've lost people too, Hyun. Would I at least deserve to have a say in all of this?
"I hate that you're going through so much alone because you don't have to. I'm here for you, Joohyun. Can't you see that I care?"
Joohyun felt a grip on her gown. "Seulgi, I-" she held on to her girlfriend.
"I'm sorry." Seulgi meekly apologizes, quietly sobbing into her gown. "It's not your fault. You want to be there for me, I understand."
Joohyun immediately felt terrible for what she had said to Seulgi. It was like she invalidated her feelings.
And it didn't help when she finally saw Seulgi break down in her arms.
"Please tell me how I can still love you as much as I did all those years ago, Seul."
