Where do I fit in the Abortion debate?

Starting the conversation

I am often an enigma to others and that is the way I like it.  Part of the reason I want it this way is so that I can keep in the conversation no matter what the topic.  Sometimes I feel that I am unique partially because I often struggle to find others who think like me and partially because I do not want to be labelled.  Labels never really fit anyone perfectly and are most often used as derogatory terms for those who disagree with you.  With all this said, let's get into the sticky debate on abortion.  I am also old enough to not really care what others think about me.

I am a Christian, have been for as long as I can remember.  Who knows what labels people might put on me just based on this fact?  Hypocritical, Homophobic, Sexist, Racist (since I am white), etc.   I also believe that life starts at conception.  According to the pro-choice people, this puts me clearly in the pro-life camp.  By now, there may already be a number of people who have given up on me already.  On the other hand, I also want to support Roe v Wade although I do have some reservations.  This may make the pro-life faction again calling me Hypocritical, Turncoat, etc.  Am I alone not really fitting in on either side?

The story behind my position:  Back when I went to Texas A & M, I was in a group of students from several different denominations.  I was a little late and people had started the process of getting together as prayer partners for the semester.  That is when I saw Kathy (names have been changed to protect the innocent) who was very pretty and also late, so I wrangled it to make sure that we would get together.  I was sheltered, naive, and innocent for a 20-year-old in college, but I had grown somewhat out of my shyness that was prevalent in my high school years though still an introvert.  Kathy and I met together to pray and talk together fairly often.  Then, something happened that changed the relationship and was a formative part of who I am now within this bigger conversation.  Roe v Wade was back in 1973, so it was already a part of life in 1981.  One night, Kathy ended up in her apartment meeting with a classmate for a study session.  A story way too often repeated on college campuses, she ended up being raped by this person which led to pregnancy.  She took a trip to Houston to get an abortion.  The sad thing for me was that she felt that because of my religious beliefs, she could not tell me about it.  I do not even remember how long it was before a common friend, lets call her Abby, told me this.  My relationship with this common friend is also an interesting story, but this must be shared at a different time.

I think that is a pretty factual representation of the story.  While the story is short, I hope you feel how this was truly one of those pivotal life changing experiences of my life.   The rest will be an intermingling of facts and interpretation since this story was 40 years ago and I have thought of it often in my life.  With the brain research I have looked into, I realize that I probably could not give a fac20.tua7 l account of some things that happened in the last week or so, much less something 40 years ago.  Thus, I do not guarantee that the rest is what really happened, but it is still my story and my interpretations.  

I remember that my first reactions were sadness and anger.  I had a sadness that I presented myself as someone who could not be told.  I also was angry at this unknown assailant who would mistreat someone who was close to me.  I felt that no matter what I believed, I would rather be the person who could support a friend no matter what.  I really do not know what I would have said and felt if Kathy had told me but knowing myself, it probably would have been a mix of empathy and support along with a few mistakes.  This helped me see that we are all on this giant almost sphere trying to do the best we can to get through each day.   I was humbled through this experience which started me on a path of wanting to be an authentic person.  This too is another story of why I am a Christian hypocrite, one of the labels I will accept for myself.  I have thought about this story a lot over the years, but sometimes wish it would come up when I, like Jimmy Carter, turn women into objects rather than people.

While I have not talked about abortion much in my lifetime, this is the story that always comes back to me when the topic does come up.  This is the story that guides my stance on the issue.  There are several things that do dishearten me about Roe v Wade, one of which is the sheer number of abortions around the world.  According to one site claiming UN data (Abortion Rates by Country (worldpopulationreview.com), Russia is by far the leader with 53.7 per 1000 women aged 15-44 with China completing the top 10 at 24.0.  This compares to lowest rates in Mexico at .1 (note was made that three countries showed 0 and were left off the list) to number 10 Belgium at 7.5.  The US falls somewhere between these extremes at 20.8.  This represents a peak in 1990 at over 1.6 million abortions every year, while it has now dropped to 930 thousand in 2010 (see US Abortion statistics by year (1973-current) - Christian Life Resources.  It is easy to talk about one woman's right to choose, but to me it is a little scarier to talk about 1 million women's right to choose.  Of course, live births still far outweigh abortions.  The bigger issue to me is why so many unwanted pregnancies are happening in the United States.  This is just one of the moral dilemmas that I must deal with as best I can.    

For me, I am not as much bothered by a state choosing to ban abortions which does bother me some.  I am more bothered by the lengths that states are talking about to insure no one can have an abortion including trying to keep women from travelling across state lines to have abortions or to curtail private funding of this action.  Once again, the middle class and rich will be able to get away with something that might not be afforded the poor.  

On the filp side, over the years, I have looked back and was glad that Kathy was able to have a much safer abortion.  I also have a lot of sympathy for those who seek an abortion due to rape or incest.  I understand that almost all women who choose an abortion do not do it lightly and I assume have some internal struggles.  I am not sure where I currently stand on making an amendment to the Constitution or have a presidential edict to allow abortions.

This is me as of today.  Perhaps caught in a catch 22.  I would not march with either side.  This may mean that both sides see me as irrelevant to the debate.  I will not know if I am a loner without comments that others are similar to myself.  Neither side will claim me, but my bigger hope would be to be a bridge rather than a pariah.  Once again from my story as a Christian hypocrite which I may someday write, Kathy and Abby taught me that real love trumps my beliefs, real love trumps my politics, real love trumps.  It is my wish that I could leave a legacy of love of God and neighbor triumphs.