It's truly been awhile since someone in my family had been successful. I was not going to be one of those people. It's been about a week since I had even seen my so-called family. Maybe they had kicked me out for reasons of not enough money. I had so many thoughts in my head, they were still running rampant and had yet to suffice. It's fine though, right? I still have to go to school, I still have to work.. I have to make it in this god forsaken world. This week has made me reflect on everything. I may have not been the best child sure, I had gotten into somethings I shouldn't have. But so has everyone, it's not uncommon to experiment and try things. Whether or not they are bad, it doesn't matter though.
Experience and pain is what makes the world go round. I was no exception. Why would I be? I'm not rich, I'm not from a well known family. I'm just a normal person, I work, learn, then die. I've learned to accept this. Most I can do is try to make something out of myself. Even then, how am I supposed to be something? I had been thrown out of my own family not even a week ago. It doesn't matter, I can't do much about it. Surely if I push myself, surely if I make myself turn into someone people like, then I'll make it in the world.
Being a female in this society isn't exactly ideal. We are paid less, have less job opportunities, and are put down more often. With the current ordeal, women are seen as nothing but machines to reproduce with, nothing but baby makers. The world had begun to revert to the old misogynistic ways. Again, this doesn't matter. Just live, reproduce, try to make a legacy then die. I don't want to fall into the stereotypical lifestyle, I want to be successful. I want to have a good life, I want my family to not have to worry about money. I want so many things, yet I have yet to reach and achieve said things.
It had been a few months now, I do wonder how my old family is doing. If someone were to ask me months ago, what would you do with your life if you got abandoned? I probably wouldn't have an answer for them, but being alone for so long I have an answer for that now. It may not be the answer people would expect. Maybe it's because I've grown in my own way. But the answer is work, I'd work until I drop. Until there is nothing left of me. Truth be told, that's what I've been doing. I've picked up multiple jobs, I've house hopped. The world is cruel, yes, but it is important to adapt and overcome everything that is thrown your way. It may be hard, it may hurt or even seem impossible. But it isn't.
Who would have known. I started off as a small town girl, nobody knew me. I was thrown out and disowned by my own family. Everything was dark, I was prepared to fail, to fall and never get back up. It's been almost a year. I've started my own business and it's going well. I can't describe how happy I am now. I'm no longer a nobody, my future family won't have to worry about money, working or struggling. I've managed to do something so well for once. I do wish I had someone to celebrate with. I may have made it in the world, I may be a successful person now. I may be rich and known. But at the same time, I still feel as alone as when I started this climb.
What does one do with so much spare time and money? What do you do when you have no one to love? When you've been left alone for almost all your life? I don't have answers to any of these questions. And I fear I never will. Life is life sadly. There's not much I can do about it.
