After all this time

Chapter 1

*London*

"No.... Don't die. Please. Don't". I touched the little boy's cheek. But it was too late. I felt the coldness, the smell of death from his motionless body.

"No..." I screamed.

I couldn't save him. Why? Why ? I asked myself. "Doctor Roberts, calm down." The nurse said calmly but I pushed her away and stomped out of the operating room in despair.

This job is always been my passion as I followed my father's footsteps in medicine. But why is that my efforts are in vain? If they have admitted that child before ten minutes I could save him. Am I not worthy of being a doctor? I asked myself and fell into despair.

After washing my hands and face, I noticed that my hands were trembling in fear. I felt like I was dooming into an endless Abyss.

"Doctor, you did your best. The boy was already on the verge of death."

Heh death. Why? He is just a small child. A gleaming hope for those two parents who counted on him. Have many big aspirations and dreams. I failed myself to save him.

"Hm..."

I nodded. I couldn't talk. The parents of the child were angry and somehow accused me for killing the child. I listened to their words in silence. And my colleagues made them calm to stop scolding me. I could only say I'm sorry. But didn't have the courage to say to their face.

After finishing my work and I was going back home, I really felt the urge to forget myself for sometime. In that mere moment I saw the tavern in the farthest busy street of London. Chugged the vodka and buried my face with my hands. There must be something I could do to save lives. A life is more precious than any other valuable thing in the world.

Is it because of the inept swing of the scalpel, or was he already doomed? I don't even know. I was stuffed into an empty doctor's office in this small town and left to flounder. Only after university, I really did not treat living people. My real practice started here and it turned into hell. I dreamed of becoming a doctor to save lives, but in the end I have to watch death again and again. I failed this boy, and his parents, and my dream.

Pain pierces my body and soul. How I wish I could turn back time or I could save everyone? I drank the drink again and shook my head. Just then I heard the sound of a creaking chair from my left side. Damn it, I really hate the sound of creaking furnitures.

Since the tavern is so vintage and old, it is common to have such creaking furnitures. A bottle of high-end whiskey clatters to my table. I raise my head and tried to focus. A young man who has shoulder length hair and in clothes that are too expensive for this place holds a cane in his hands and smiles.

"Good evening! Dr. Roberts, I guess?"

When I hear that word which I don't deserve, I freeze. How did he know me? I asked myself. And the stranger is already uncorking his bottle. The oak aroma does not linger in the air for long, immediately mixing with the general stench.

"Thomas Haines", he introduces himself, holding out his hand across the table.

"I'm a businessman."

Almost knocking over the bottle, I reach out and languidly respond to the hard handshake. The rim of the massive ring digs painfully into my fingers.

"I ... Don't get it. What... Business you ..have with me?" I was trying to regain control of my slurring tongue.

"You don't even know what I'm proposing to you," He wonders and is lost in thought, clasps his hands near to his mouth. "Maybe we can just talk heart to heart then? They say I'm a good conversationalist. Yes, and a good drinking companion."

Without waiting for my response he pours the vodka into two wide glasses.

The drinks weren't here a moment ago, but I'm not sure of anything anymore. I automatically reach for the amber drink.

"For our acquaintance!" he proclaims loudly, and holds his glass towards me. I sighed and silently drink the alcohol, not distinguishing the taste. But I do not drink for acquaintance. I drank for peace. For unsaved patients.

He nods in understanding and slowly begins to enjoy the scotch. "Death is just a beginning," he states. "Yes, sometimes she is ruthless, and a simple person, alas, it is hardly able to snatch the unfortunate victim from her clutches. She still, sooner or later, will take her. Why fight?"

"This is my job" my tone sound harsh to this mysterious stranger. I bit my lip.

"But as a doctor, what could you do for a boy who was fed herbs until he stopped getting up and eating?" -

"Where are you from?" I look at him in surprise.

I lean back in my chair and almost fall out of reality. But dark thoughts like disgusted passengers follow me. From somewhere far away an insinuating voice breaks through:"But imagine for a second that there was still a chance to help?" I asked myself this question more than once. And I tried to increase those chances.

I read all the literature I could get my hands on. And I was so full of confidence that the next time would be better. Until a new failure knocked me out of my rut. And I more and more desperately bit into the memorized paragraphs, trying to find something new between the lines. "I would use it at any cost," I said that in a hoarse voice.

"And how much would you be willing to pay for such a gift?"

"Yes, anything!"

"And even ..."

He got bored and shakes the glass. Watches how the whirlpool that formed at the bottom, casually finishing: "the soul?" I sighed.

Is he one of those who likes to talk about God and higher matters? Like somebody from Free masonry or something?

And at first he seemed to be a sane person. I have read many books written by scientists who have explored every cell of the human body, but nowhere is the soul mentioned. I myself cut people up, but inside I saw only the expected set of muscles, fat, bones and organs. People invented immortality for themselves so that it would not be so scary to die. And I was terrified to realize that every death that I saw was the final chord, dissolved in the air.

The soul is a dubious currency. But if someone wanted to take it - "why? certainly"-

I finally answer. "And if this someone is sitting in front of you, as the one who.. hahaha... If you know what I mean?" He tilts his head slightly to the side. But his black eyes look straight into my soul.

"What's the use of her to you?" He just shrugs. I strive to grasp the elusive meaning of this strange conversation, but I can hardly even grasp the glass. Just then I heard him speak in a small... whisper.

"The ability to overcome death itself in exchange for your soul. How do you like that deal, John?" I swallowed and smelled a scent of smoky malt.

Mr. Haines looks expectantly and waits for an answer.

"Your idle musings about unrealistic solutions to all is real problems. I never liked to waste time on empty speeches. But if you imagine even for a moment ... It would change your life forever. Great wonders could happen from these hands of yours. All for a small price." -

"That would be a great deal." I agree bitterly.

"Then let's shake hands?" He stands up and holds out his hand. Following the example, I also get up and almost fall back. My legs are shaking. It darkens in the eyes. I lean on the table with one hand and hesitantly respond to his gesture.

I would swear that at the end of the handshake, my palm became stiff and gained strength.

"You won't regret this decision, John!" Mr. Haines exclaims gleefully as I sit back down.

As I clench and unclench my fist in surprise, he adds, "I like you, so here's another little gift for you." My body goes limp, and my mind slips into a long-awaited oblivion. Before I finally pass out, I hear, "See you later, John. Let's meet some other time."