Lonely

The house was completely silent, except the thumping of my heart. I was in the house all alone. Both arms braced against the arm wrests of my office chair. I was thinking about how much of a wreck I was. How...lonely I was.

 I want someone to love, and care for. I want a family. I need to find the right person though. I can't just walk right up to a man and say, "Hey. Do you have any smart, nice women willing to be a baby carrier for me? I'm a twenty-five year old rich guy, who can't find anyone to love. You'd think many women would love to be mine, considering I'm rich, but no. Not at all. I am about as lonely as a bear. With no one to care for, or to care for me."

 You see, I own this business called "Spencer's Computer's". We have all of the things you need for technology. We make computers, televisions, home appliances. We are the third most popular technological business in the United States. The business was originally my mother and father's. Obviously, the company needs a new name. We make more than just computers now. But, my parents passed away four years ago, leaving the company to yours truly. Well, technically the business is supposed to be ran by my older brother Jason, my older sister Julia, my younger sister Jasmine, and I- Justin Spencer. But, Julia is now married and lives in California with her husband and daughter. Jasmine-or Jaz, is still under-aged. She isn't legally allowed to own a business. So, that leaves Jason and I to do all of the ownership things. Jason and I- we aren't the best of friends. Sure, we can get along. But we tend to argue quite a bit. I want to change the company name to “Spencer's Technologies”, but Jason thinks we should stay with the original name. If we want to get more business, we should change the name because people are probably going to think that we only sell computers. But, maybe not. We already have tons of customers. There's always room for improvement, though.

 Being rich and gorgeous (from what people tell me), I could get almost any lady. I am not saying this out of cockiness, I am saying this being truthful. Practically almost every woman in Chicago wants money, or a man with a beautiful face and body. Unfortunately, that is exactly what I have. I haven't found a woman who just liked me for me. Not my face, not my money. Me. Every woman I meet outside of work, wants my body and my money.

None of my friends have women. Except for Ryan. Other than him, all my best friends are single. Most of my regular acquaintances are married and have families. But not my buds. They're bachelors. Carefree, living without a care in the world. Of course, they work and all. But, the bar is their main hangout. Ryan has a wife, though. He is truly my best friend. He works with me. If I could have him as a co-owner instead of Jason, I would.

Which brings me back to the lonely part. I am twenty five and I haven't had an actual "girlfriend" in four years. Funny how after my parents died, I became an instant wreck. I haven't dated anyone, unless a few dates from random women here and there count. I haven't travelled anywhere, unless business meetings count. I am continuing to be a wreck this very moment, by sitting home alone thinking about how much of a wreck I am.

I need to get out, live a little, live while I am still alive and young. No more working all night. No more countless nights alone. No more grouchy Mr. Spencer. I'm saying goodbye to all of that, and hello to a new life, where I leave work when I want. Where I go out to dinner with friends. Where I go on dates with girls I like (If I can find someone). And where there is a happy twenty five year old just living his life and doing what he pleases. Goodbye Mr. Spencer. Hello Justin

* * *

 The cool night air hits my skin like a brutally cold slap in the mildest of winter. Yet, it is only Fall. I pull my jacket slightly closer to my body as I walk towards the door of the bar, the exact one my buds are usually hanging around. Well- were usually hanging around.

I approach the front door to the bar, in which a woman is leaving. I take a hold of the door opening it for the tall blonde holding her purse. She smiles and brushes past me as I enter the club that had used to be so familiar to me.

 "Well if it isn't the man himself... Justin Spencer. Hello there, boy. Haven't seen you around here in a while. How have 'ya been?" a Raspy voice in front of me says. I look up to see Ronald, the bartender giving me a smile. I walk up next to the chubby old man and take a seat down in front of him.

"Ronald! It's been a while. I've been good. How about you?" I asked looking around to the others in the bar.

"Oh, I'm hanging in here. How's the company been?" Ronald said with a nod.

"It's been great. Still rolling in the business. Lot's of people wanting our service. Hey, could you get me the usual?" I say, pointing over towards a bottle of rum.

"That's good to hear." He said, stumbling his way towards the rum, picking a glass up in his way. Just as Ronald is pouring me a glass, I see a familiar face emerge from the restrooms.

"Kevin!" I exclaim as a smile spreads across my face. It's been a while since I have smiled.

"Spencer. Good to see you, man. How have you been?" He said giving me a pat on the back.

"Good. And yourself?" I ask. Kevin takes a seat next to me, looking at me.

"I've been alright." He said with a smile. I nod raising a glass to my lips. "It was as if you fell off of the face of the earth. What happened to you?"

"Work, it's been crazy with Jason gone on vacation in Maui. I'm left doing a lot. Sure employee's help, but there's only a certain amount of how much they can do as employee's." I said after taking a drink. A low chuckle comes out of both Kevin and Ronald.

"'Ya got it tough, do 'ya?" Ronald said leaning against the counter. I roll my eyes slightly.

"You try running a business." I say shaking my head as a smile crossed my face. I raise the glass to my lips taking another drink of my rum. Good 'ole rum.

"The Canadian's got it rough, I see. Rolling in the thousands by the minute. Must be tough." Kevin said as a smirk rolled across his face. I can't help but chuckle. No one has made me laugh in about a year, I really need some help on getting happier.

* * *

The house is completely silent as I unlock the front door, stepping into my mansion. I stagger towards the stairs as my jacket seems to be getting heavier and heavier. I let the sleeves fall off, catching the coat in my left hand, before walking up the stairs and bracing myself on the railing with my right.

 My room seems warm, almost twice as warm as the rest of the house. I lay my jacket down flat on a chair as I slip my shoes off of my feet. I open the closet door, setting my shoes down as I step in. The buckle of my pants seems to pop open, as I try to take them off. I set them down on the chair, next to my coat and then staggered over towards my king sized bed.

 I'm not happy, I'm drunk. And Lonely.