Raped by the one who "loves" you

The Beginning

                I was at my great-grandmother's house and she asked me to get her some water. She had been very sick and she couldn't drink regular water so I had to put some type of stuff in her water. She was in a wheel chair and couldn't even do anything really. When it was time for her to take her pills she would hide it under her tongue and then throw it somewhere so that it seemed like she took it but she really didn't. So while I was getting her water my great-uncle (the person who molested me) walked into the kitchen and stood next to me for a while. Then he started touching my private areas (butt, private part, my chest)... and I didn't say anything at the time I ran out of the kitchen and gave my great- grandmother her water and sat on the couch ashamed. Mind you I had a long shirt on and underwear of course. While this was happening his daughter was there and she knew she just watched me from a distance. At the time she didn't know what was going on but then we figured it out together upstairs in my aunt's room. I then had to use the bathroom and I did shut the door after myself but the only downfall was that the door wouldn't lock. So as I was in the bathroom he then entered the bathroom with me and just basically saw all of me. I felt really exposed. He then took his private part out and then grabs my hand and forced me to touch it. I felt really disgusted. Then he asked me these questions "Does it feel good? Did you like what I did to you earlier?" Then he bent me over by that time I knew something was up but I couldn't really figure it out. He just kept trying to force his private part into me and I told him to stop but he wouldn't at all he kept going until I started screaming and then he ran out onto the porch. Time went past he came back in the house.He then was in the living room with my great-grandmother and I was sitting on the porch in a chair crying. He threatened me by saying "If I told someone he would kill me." This made me really scared that's why i didn't tell my mom right away. And that same day later on my aunt and my cousin had came and they saw me crying and I told them the same day I told my mom but just before I told my mom. When my cousin said it was time for me to tell my mom because then I didn't want to deal with it I wanted to run away from my problems. I wanted to end my life because I felt like if I told someone they would judge me and don't believe me and just tell everyone and say things about this happening.