UNRAVEL ~ Stories Untold~

~One ~

   'Under the shade of Black and Blue'

"For the last time, NO! "
She shoved me out of the room and coming out herself, shut the door behind.
"....Why...? " I asked, my voice- barely a whisper. "I had practiced for this since weeks! Please.. Let me in.. "
"And I said NO! " she yelled louder this time.
Still looking down and fidgetging with my fingers, I heard her let out an irritated grunt.
"you know. You're not gonna learn nicely. "
She grabbed my arm.
Trotting down the empty hallway and violently sliding open the door of the nearest restroom she pulled me in, pointing to the huge mirror on the wall.  "Have you seen yourself? " She slammed her hand on it. "Hardly a few days and we graduate from this school. And for the Closing Ceremony- we've decided on a play for which the applications are being taken and auditions are in progress.  Now we only want the 'FEMALE LEAD' whom the whole school would be watching. And you expect me to let YOU give it a try?? 
YOU HAVE SCARS.
FROM HEAD TO TOE.
MAKES YOU LOOK UGLY.
Even your face has small bruises and cuts on it. How do you even imagine preforming? That too the lead?  Please. We've spoken about this. And no matter how much you try and convince me that we can do something we can't. You know that. I don't know who's bullying you or whatever but please. Just go home and be safe. This isin't something you can do with that bruised body of yours. Im sorry alright. Please. Just leave. "And I was left alone again.
             I looked at myself.
Cuts,  blue black skin, irritations, clots, burns.
Not really feeling anything anymore, I tore the application in my hands and threw it in the tashacan.
I walked out. Back to class and back home.
A few days passed.
I didn't go to school.
My parents were worried; but I got away with making an excuse of how I wasn't feeling well.
And not all of it was a lie.
Then came the day.
It was Saturday.
The last Saturday of the month.
Last day of school.
Forced by my parents to go, I reluctantly did so. They wanted me to 'Cherish memories and enjoy ' when I knew none of that would happen. Yet I didn't want to hurt them, so I took it up. I wandered alone here and there- it was bright, colorful and chaotically happy. I looked around at everyone engaged in chatting, sharing food and laughing in groups. For the first time, standing amidst the crowd a weird feeling rose in my chest and I realised how sad now havind any friends felt. Yet unknowingly, I stayed.
And just like everybody else, as the day came to an end... My feet took me to the place I'd least wanted to be at.
The auditorium.
I'd dreamt of performing here proud of all the success, but here I was- clapping with the audience as the play began, curtains raised and lights dimmed. I watched numbly as the story unravelled and not long after, came to a sweet end.  Coming home i kept on thinking of what she'd said. She was just Someone. Her opinion shouldn't have mattered. Still, my mind refused to let go.  So I made up my mind. If covering them would mean I could take part in the play of life- not as a lead but even; as a background chatecter I'd do it. I wanted to blend in.  'Conceal '.
Things went better for the next few years.
I moved to a new school with my 'concealed self' and managed to make wonderful friends. Experiencing all I had missed out on. Both Big and small. One evening as I sat on my desk, writing down my thoughts as I always did, A text from a friend grabbed my attention.
"Hey you're coming to the party next week,  right???  Please don't say noooo~"
"...No,  I probably won't. Parties aren't really my thing. "
I ended the conversation.
"It's them again, Isin't it. "
I turned around in my chair.
"you've Been here all along.. "
"Why'd you refuse then? " He sat down beside me.  "you know why... " I bit my lip.
"The scars. "
I looked away.
He continued, " The party would mean a dress. Or casuals. You don't want them to see your scars so you're not going. "
"...I.. Let's just not, okay? Please. " I got up to leave but he caught my arm.
"No. You've been doing this for as long as I've Known you now. Restricting and crossing out the things you like because of your scars. They don't know that you hide your scars with a concealer. And even if they do friends don't judge. That's what they are for. They have been there with you for quite a long time now, supported you,  trusted you. Why not open up to them a little? Why still be afraid of prejudices you think would be made- when in reality it's your mind prejudicing them.
I thought for a while.
I recalled how alone and lonely I'd been, shutting myself from getting close to anyone. But now... Maybe taking the chance wasn't so bad... Because after all under those shades of black and blue,  I was still a person who wanted to live a cheerful life full of memories just like everyone else.
"okay. I'll go. " I smiled and heard him smile as well.
I would open up to them.
Little by little.
I would connect with them.
Carefully, piece by piece.
And in no time, my empty wall would be full of completed puzzles and pictures.
And it did.
Today I continue living as I am,
With the people in my picture,
Whom I love and treasure.
Not judging me,  accepting me the way I am,
They make me feel safe.
A reason to be alive.
A part to play.
A record to remember and to listen to.
Like thousands of bright, bright shining stars.
Forever.
They make me realize,
Nobody is perfect and we all deserve the love and care. So to all the people out there, I can finally say
'Stop hiding your scars,
Stop hiding your pain,
Out of this not a thing you will gain,
Stop hiding your scars,
Stop hiding your flaws,
You're one among the starts,
You've got it all.
Your Beautiful.
Inside out
So live, 
And be proud. '

                          -  End -

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Signing off,
-#Atorikun