I sat there in that lonely dark room waiting for my results, a lot had happened over the past few weeks that has just made this time ten times more nerve wracking.
I remembered the last time id sat in the very spot, awaiting for my results. I had such high hopes back then, but the results never came out good.
I was preparing myself for the worst. I knew there would never be any good results. There never really was good news in my family.
Clarissa, my adoptive mother, was in the other room talking to the doctors. All I could do was wish for good results.
I heard a door slam from behind me, it was Clarissa. She came out of the room with 2 other doctors. By the look on her face I knew there was no good news to come.
I let out a big sigh as she put she arm over my shoulder. “Im sorry hunny, still no good news.”
How I longed to feel that sense of comfort she was trying to give me, what would I give for just once for me to feel what its like to be held, comforted, and to feel accepted.
“Don’t give up yet Isi, our team of extensive doctors are doing all we can to try fix your loss” doctor Emend said to me as he sat down on the bench on the other side of me.
Doctor Emend had been on my case since we had realised of my disease. He was one of the only doctors that actually got my pain. He was the only one that really understood how I felt.
He is the only person I can talk openly to about my disease without him thinking I was a freak.
When he was a young child, he was mucking around with his friends on the main road in their neighbourhood. Lots of trucks and buses used to go along the road and the kids used to play chicken. Unfortunately for Doctor Edmund, he ran across at the wrong time and got hit by a 4 tonne semi trailer.
Everybody thought he would have died, but by some miracle he was saved. Though he had broken 3 parts in his spine and became paralysed from the waist down.
This accident is what drove him to become a doctor. He wanted to be able to fix accidents like these so that they got a fair chance at life.
I think this is why he had an interest in me. I had always been the unpopular girl I the school because of my disabilities, I was always left out of everything. But Doctor Edmund was determined to change my fate for the better.
He always told me “everything happens for a reason. We are not put on this earth to be an average Joe, we are born to make a difference, and to be spectacular in every single way, whether you can dance, whether you can feel things or even walk. We all have a purpose, and you will find your purpose in your heat”
This has been what’s drove me to move forward in life and to never give up, if Dr Edmund wasn’t apart of my life like he is now, I don’t even know if I would still be sitting here, alive and well.
