TubeyTales

TUBEY TALES

"UGH I HATE YOU STUPID TAMPON TUBES. ALWAYS MAKING MY LIFE HORRIBLE UGH" I raged. I'm pretty sure my neighbors could hear me but I ignored it, I got noise complaints so many times but I'm mentally unstable so I guess they understand where I'm coming from right?. "Hey it's not that bad all you gotta do is-" She was cut off by me slapping the tampon box out of her hand. "HEY WHAT WAS THAT FOR? DONT DISRESPECT THE POWER THE TAMPONS EVER" She yelled at me, wow she has never yelled at me before. These tampons must really mean the world to her. I looked her dead in the eyes and yelled back "TAMPONS DONT HAVE POWER AT ALL. AT LEAST THESE TUBES DON'T". "YOU GOT BEEF WITH THE TAMPON TUBES HUH? DO YOU?" I calm my voice "no I-" I raise my voice again "ACTUALLY I DO, TAMPONS HAVE MADE MY LIFE WORSE, ITS VERY HARD TO STICK UP YOUR VAGINA. I WISH I COULD DROWN THIS THING". The room went silent, we looked each other in the eyes then looked away. Bre looks like she's about to say something. "THOSE TAMPON TUBES ARE MY LIFE, MY EVERYTHING. THEY ARE MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT LIFE AND YOU DONT GET TO PLAY THE VICTIM BECAUSE  YOU AREN'T TUBEY IS THE VICTIM HERE. AND YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH HER OR ELSE YOUR GONNA BE THE ONE DROWNING NOT HER". Wow that's was a lot the take it "Did you really  just name your tampon tube, Tubey? Wow so weird of you". "Yes got a problem?" "Actually yes I do. I'm gonna cut little Tubey in half and then she would feel the pain we go through trying to get her up there". "Oh you better not cut her in half, or I'll cut you ". Oh no she did not "Then I'll throw her in the trash. Something that every human being should be doing with their tampon tubes". "Uh yes but no" She's getting weirder "I'll throw you away" Bre stated "I will cut off her dick" Bre scoffs before saying "She doesn't have a dick" "Yes she does, She has a string so therefore it's a dick". I roll my eyes "But, it's a tampon tube it doesn't have a string" she just doesn't get it. "Because I cut it off" I chuckle bringing my hand to cover my mouth. "I will throw you in the trash" She claims "which trash" I say still giggling from what I said before "The one in your bedroom" "I don't have a trash in my bedroom" "then um the one you keep in your— garage" "I don't have one in my garage" "THEN WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR GARBAGE" "um in the backyard". "Oh well I will just throw you in that one". "On one condition" I say. Bre quickly states "No Tubey is not going with you" "Wait a sec— how the fuck did you know I was gonna say that?" I'm so confused right now. "Because I'm God. And since I'm God I can send you to hell if you take my child away from me" Bre smirks. "Well I can bring Tubey with me" I say hoping she wouldn't say anything else  "I just stuck the tampon Tube up my pretty little ass because Tubey is staying with me". I try to snatch the tube out of Bres hand but there's no use it's already up there.  "If you want it you can get it" Bre said in a small tone "Fine then if you want it you're gonna have to fetch it out of my ass." "Oh okay fine" I grab a pair of gloves and motion Bre to lay down on her stomach. "Ready I'm gonna pull it out in 3–2–1–" I pulled it out but only half came out. "Phew what a relief. It felt like I had shit stuck in my ass". Bre looks back and noticed the half tube, "is that what I think it is?" I start to panic "I think it is. You broke it like how Jaiden broke my spoon, he clenched his but cheeks and it broke" yikes is this really happening right now "I guess you can try to shit it out maybe that would work" Bre runs to the bathroom and tries to shit it out. "ITS NOT WORKING" she yells from across the hall "then try harder or else we're gonna have to go to the hospital and well that is very embarrassing". "I think we have to go to the hospital" Bre said walking out of the bathroom looking like she's constipated or something.

______________________________

Later at the hospital:

"Ugh this is so embarrassing what am I gonna say?" "Just say you got a tampon tube stuck in your ass okay" "alright then", we pulled up to the front desk " how may I help you?" "Um hi i um got a tampon tube stuck in my ass" "oh— okay, follow me" The lady takes us to a room and tells Bre to lay down on the table. She puts on a pair of gloves and reaches into Bre's ass and tries to pull it out. "Ugh it's not working" Bre groaned. "It's gonna work I have a solution" The nurse walks over to the cabinet and takes out a feather. "This should help" the nurse begun to tickle Bre's ass. "Hahah that tickles-" Bre was cut off by something amazing. She was laughing so hard she didn't even realize the tampon flew out. "Wow I feel so relieved man" Suddenly a nurse screamed from the distance. "HELP I GOT A TAMPON TUBE STUCK IN MY EYE" we laughed  including the nurse "Should we help her or?" "No she's fine. She was racist and homophobic anyway" the nurse replied." oh okay". "anyways guys y'all are free to go" me and Bre walked out of the hospital happily as can be. THE END