I still don't know what it is you do to me
That makes me completely lose my mind around you
Is it your eyes, your smile, your laugh?
Where exactly is it that these interactions go wrong?
That suddenly I'm conjuring up lives that I don't even think I want
That the fairytale takes over and my mind wanders around
Through so many different abysses that I've never contemplated before
How is it that my mind will spin with what ifs and maybes and never settle
I didn't give my brain permission to move through potentials
I never told my mind I was waiting for forever
That I wanted that fairytale that was force fed to me
The romcom moments like snapshots flitting through my mind
This wasn't the bargain my anxiety and I made together
We made an enduring promise to put such thoughts from my mind
We agreed to only bring up these moments in times of
Intense vulnerability and distress
We made a promise and now we're in unfamiliar territory where we do not belong
How did we get here?
How do we go back?
This isn't what we agreed on
We agreed to never remember the exact shade of your eyes
Or the way your face lights up when you say my name
We promised to forget
To forget and go back
To not traverse this hurt ever again
