Opportunities like this only happen once in a life time

Im Alicia and i grew up in a little area in the caribbean. It wasnt the best life i had but i had to cherish what was given to me. Im the 9th person in my family we are know as the Daniel and the Moh'd family. A family of ten including me. I grew up humble wanting so many things but my parents could not afford it they were financially unstable my mom Salisha was a domestic worker and my dad Alexander was an all- rounder. My parents did there best, they are hardworking people and i want to make them proud. Its the last year of high school for me and im here, in tear not because its the last year but i need to do my best in exams.I think to myself i cant be like my brother some failed there exams started working right after, 2 dropped out of school, and my sister didnt showed up to write all her exams, she dont live with us anymore and the other two in school studying.
Its 2am im sitting in the middle of my bed with school books scattered on my bed, legs fold with comfortable cloth to make me cozy repeating a maths method until i get it correct. Tears came to my eyes after failing to get it right. I ripped the page crumble it and toss it in the bin. These voices came to my mind, you cannot get it right, i am a failure, you will not succeed. Battling back and forth with these thought, i realized that i was tired so i went off to bed. After school that was my routine home, bathe, sleep then study. The night appeared briefly committed and ready to try againg after several times of repeating the summary of touristm i fist my hand in the air with joy in my heart knowing its correct. Some days when i study i feel a heavy weight upon my back, some days i feel to quit and some days i feel good. I dont have anyone to support me,guide me or assist me at home. Im a child with low self-esteem fighting her way through to succeed in life. I feel saturated with tiredness, like there's no rest for the living.
Im sitting here my heart panting in my chest, a square white paper before me pencil case on the desk, sweaty palms rubbing it onto my clothes. The supervisor said, "You can start the Maths paper now!." I flipped through the pages and didn't recognize some of these questions, so i did what i know, emotions rushes throughout my body, not knowing what to do. It felt like this for a while. I havent finished all but there was nothing i could have done. I give up the paper, and left. Other students were outside complaining how  difficult maths was. I agreed with them silently. The other exam papers were like that, challenging, not knowing what to do i some areas. I asked myself was i thought, correctly so how come theres thing i dont understand, or never seen, did the teachers gave us everything that was on the syllabus hmmmmm. I knew i did good in my S.B.A (school base assessment) so that would help me of i fall back. Each  exam paper i did had me fighting my  emotions, worried and stressed. One time i felt like ripping the paper in half it was too overwhelming. Its crazy how everyone said that the paper was easy until they see there reports. I waited so long for this time to come. My sister sasha and brother Josh was present. My sister law Rose called my to login for results. She knew how hard i worked for it, she boost up my confidence that what i needed right there . I logged in with confident, while my sister and brother cheer me on. I doubted what I saw, unexplainable emotioned rushed through my body. I was shocked of what i saw, after so much effort, time , sacrifices it was in vein. I ready the result out trembling whilst my heart felt heavy in my chest. Grade (2) in Technical Drawing, Grade (1) in Building Tech, grade( 4) in English, grade (4) in social studies, grade( 5) in science,  grade (4) maths. This was the results that had me in stages of depression. My mom thought i could go back she would do that for me, its not
thats the time, hardworks, no one will understand how i felt. I went looking for jobs after i got my results. But no one hired me, i felt like a failure, i was home by myself battling these thought. My mom saw me sitting on the couch and asked how i looked so worried, i said, i dont know.
My uncle collins hes a family friend from way back he came to my house and asked what am i doing now my response was nothing, he asked how passes i got i told him. He offered me a deal that if i passed maths and English with a distinction he will pay for my entire school fee. I went and studied and did just that now here i and with a 7 subjects five distinctions and on( 2). I have planned to study abroad. I told my family that im going to study abroad and they said, Opportunities only happen once in a life time go and make up proud, my brother were praising me because they never reached so far i studying. Now here i am  24 years old as an entrepreneur knows for her architecture work, a furniture store and has a passion for pastries and cooking good food most of all persuing a relationship with God. I give back to my family home and to the unfortunate people thats around me. I am blessed thanks to God.