Materialistically was how I was raised. Growing up everything had a price tag on it and no matter how expensive the price tag I got it, I was never told no. I got things that weren't earned, they were just giving to me. I was raised by my grandmother until I was 12 and she bought me anything and took me anywhere, it didn't matter how extreme the request or how expensive it would be. I got things when my behavior was bad at school and even at home. She didn't know what kind of monster she was creating or did she, seeing that she did raise my father the exact same way. I wasn't taught the meaning of earning something or being deserving. I was very ungrateful and unappreciative no matter the circumstances. So I basically felt that every time I wanted something it was a birth right because that's what had transpired for so long. Not learning all along that these things that were given to me should have been earned and most of them I didn't deserve. Growing up I was the only grandchild, I had 3 younger sisters but they lived with my mother. My sisters and I had different fathers so when I moved with my mother at age 12 life was not just normal. Learning to share and letting my sisters use my things was impossible because I was so materialistic. After moving with them my mother would let me know on a consistent basis how ungrateful I was and how much I took things for granted. So one night one of my sisters had my cd player and this was in the days right before mp3 players became popular so it was my prize possession. I was in the 6th grade at the time and she was in the living room using my cd player, I came down stairs and yelled at her asking her why was she using my cd player and my mother heard me from her room and came out. She said what's going on, I told her she was using my cd player and she said so what's wrong, I then told her I don't want her using it that its mine. She told my sister to give her the cd player and went and sat at the kitchen table, that table had two white pillars and a glass top. She then asked me again why can't my sister use the cd player and I told her because it's mine and I don't want her touching my stuff. She then began rambling about how my cd player was not anything important and I needed to stop acting that why with my sisters, and I then said to her one more time thats its mine. She then said to me I'm going to show you how much this cd player means. She then picks up the cd player off the table and raised it up in the air above her head and then similar to someone throwing their hand down for a foot race to begin she threw my cd player to the kitchen floor. During that time it hit the floor and broke into pieces it felt like time was suspended and I could see pieces bouncing off the floor in slow motion and could see them rolling under the table and I just yelled out MY CD PLAYER in slow motion. I didnt really yell it in slow motion but it sounded that way due to me crying simultaneously. I knew what my mother was saying at the time about sharing and not being materialistic but lets be honest I didn't care what she was saying, my grandmother had bought that cd player for me and me only. It didn't really set into my mind until years later how important that night was for me at the kitchen table. My mother showed me my flaws that weren't acceptable and that would not get me anywhere in society and in life. The lesson I learned that night makes me wish that everyones mother is their children's CD PLAYER!
MY CD PLAYER!
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