Again

To New Beginnigns

It was amazing all of the small details I had forgotten about Hogwarts over the years. Hogwarts had become my home, my safe place, and my introduction to it had been the mark of my life changing all those years ago. I had forgotten all of its small beauties, though.  Try as I might to remember all of the good times I spent wandering the grounds with my friends, I couldn't help but only see Hogwarts' crumbled ruins and bloodstains when I closed my eyes.

The way the moon reflected on the surface of the lake. The outline of the castle blocking out the stars behind it. The smell of the Forrest. The chattering of the students as the older ones climbed into the once horseless carriages. I had seen the Thestrals for the first time in my fifth year. Now, they looked out at me with the hollow eyes, staring deeper into me with an understanding of the horrors I had seen. This time around, I could tell who also could see them much easier. It wasn't many, but a few of the older students bowed their heads to the magnificent creatures. I did the same as I let myself get dragged along with the other first years.

After my realization on the train, I had committed myself to only changing the bad parts and accepting the consequences for everything that I touched.

The rest of the train ride had consisted of Ron telling me everything he thought was important about the wizard in world. I thought it was nice to remind myself of how simple a child viewed the world. He spent a good while on quidditch, not that I was going to complain. After the war, he had found less joy in the sport he once loved. Flying wasn't something he did very much, unless it was to accompany his own kids to keep them safe. As i let the young Ron ramble, I could tell he liked having the attention on him. I knew that in his house life was hectic. There was always someone that needed something and he couldn't always be put first, especially not with Molly always doting on Ginny. I figured he could be the center of attention for once. I could lay low this time around and let him shine. He deserved it. He was magnificent.

"Harry!"

I turned quickly as my name was called, the booming voice piercing through the air. My hand was ready to reach for my wand but I stilled it. I wasn't going to be attacked; not here. As I straightened up, I saw him.

"Hagrid!" I called, allowing myself to run for him and be enveloped in a hug. "It's so nice to see you."

"And you as well, lad, though it's only been a few weeks mind you." He smiled as he ruffled my hair. Off to the side, Hermione and Ron looked on with surprise on their face. I had to remind myself that they had yet to become friends with the half giant.

"All right first years, in the boats you go! Four to a boat! Come on!" Hagrid called out as he headed us to the edge of the water. I had only been in the boats once before and I hadn't appreciated it nearly as much as I wished I had. I had been so caught up in the wonder of everything around me, that I had hardly registered that they moved by themselves and gave the most stunning view of the castle I had ever seen. Even from a broom this view was no match. Looming above us was Hogwarts in all her glory. Her walls stood tall and strong and her towers reached into the night sky, breaking up the stars with her majesty of bright welcoming windows. A far cry from the smoky ruins that plagued my nightmares. Hogwarts was safe. Hogwarts was home. I was home once again.

Neville, seated right behind me, was staring up in wonder as well but had stood for a better view. I felt his weight shift and before I could tell what I was doing, I shot a hand out and grabbed at the front of his robes. The shocked boy caught himself and blushed bright red, muttering a thanks as he fumbled to keep hold of his toad as he sat himself back down.

"No problem," I smiled back.

When we reached the shore we were ushered into the entrance hall. The first time around, I couldn't tell where I was. The chamber had been so large and quite frankly intimidating. Now thought, it felt like walking into an embrace. That was until I closed my eyes. Flashes of red and green filled my vision. I stuck my hand in my pocket and gripped my wand tightly. My magic hummed throughout my body. I saw them all lying there, lined up with sheets over their faces, blood soaking through some of them. The stairs were blasted apart. The doors were cracked. My heartbeat was too loud for it's own good.