My Plus Size Lover

Chapter 4

August

I couldn't believe that shit Saraiya did. I was really feeling Monae' and now she think I set think I set ha' up. I wouldn't do anything like that to ha'.

I tried to call ha', but she hasn't been answering ha' phone, so I'll just talk to ha' in school whenever she is around.

Now I officially lost all kind of feelings and respect to Saraiya. You see, I grew up with the twins so that's how Saraiya and I got together. I don't really bang with her like that because when we were 17 years old, she was pregnant with our child. She supposedly had miscarried it and I didn't think nothing of it.

So one day I went over ha' house to give her $350, she been asking all week. I get to her room, I saw a medical bill for $350 and realized it was an abortion medical bill. This bitch aborted my baby. The story she was talking about miscarrying wasn't adding up.

I just consider ha' my baby mother, nothing major. If I need to bust a nut off, I know she is willing to give me some of ha'. I just can't look at ha' the same anymore. I started to lose all my love for ha' when I started to explore into more women. Especially the bbw, the lord knows these big girls gone get a nigga in trouble.

Anyway, Monday finally came and I searched everywhere for Monae'. I just couldn't find ha'. It was 9:15 am and I knew Monae' had a class because mines was right next to ha'. When I saw Monae' turn that corner, I saw nothing but sadness. I did that because she thought I set ha' up.

I let them hurt ha' knowing I was feeling ha'. It was never my intention to let them do that. I really was enjoying myself with ha'.

"Monae'" I grabbed ha' wrist to turn ha' around and saw nothing but tears forming in ha' arms. I brought ha' closer to me

"Look, I did not set you up, baybeh girl. I would never do that to a beautiful girl like you. I really did enjoy our time together." I said looking into ha' eyes bringing ha' hands together as I kissed them.

"Saraiya don't mean-" I was interrupted by the devil.

"Well, well, well, look what we have here. I knew you couldn't keep your fat hands off my man. I guess the milkshake didn't teach your fat ass any lesson. If you thought for a second you had my man, you obviously thought wrong. He doesn't want you so I am going to need you to stop pushing your big ass up on him and just kill yourself." she said glaring at Monae' very hard.

Monae' started crying heavily and she snatched ha' hands away from mines. Next thing you know she disappeared.

Saraiya came and grabbed my hands, I snatched away from ha'. She looked at me confused as if she didn't do anything.

"Saraiya, I don't want you. I have lost all my respect and love for you all at once."

"August, what are you talking about?"

"I don't love you anymore, nor do I respect you because you aborted my baby." I said looking dead right in ha' face.

Ha' eyes widened right after I said all that.

"I miscarried it, and you know that." she said crying lightly.

"BULLSHIT" I screamed making her jump.

"When you asked for the money, I went to your house to give it to you. I saw the medical bill on your bed saying you had an abortion. That's why I threw the money in your face when I saw you." I said to her not caring about her feelings.

"Oh by the way, I hope you and Malik enjoy fucking each other and you calling Monae' a ho'. It's over between us, I am done with this dumbass relationship.

"Tuh, your leaving me for her fat ass?" she said as she put ha' hand on ha' hip.

I just looked at ha' and laughed. "Yeah, at least she ain't no ho'" I said walking away from the crowd to find Monae'. I searched everywhere again and I knew she had to be in her condo she share with Sarai.

Once I entered in the room, I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

"MONAE'!"

Monae'

I literally couldn't believe that shit just happened. After she said those words I knew for sure he went right to her and laugh at me. Maybe she was right, I should just kill myself. I have been trying so I mind as well try again. As I walked right into the room, I grabbed the biggest knife I saw and sat in my living room.

I am tired of people fucking with me. It's never no happy ending with me. My parents don't even give two shits about me and did me wrong. Don't nobody wanna be friends with me, August is not even interested in me. My gramma is basically the only friend I have.

I plopped down onto my knees and started praying. "Jesus, I am so sorry for what I am about to do right now. I am ready to come home in your presence. Maybe staying here on Earth isn't for me at all. You see everything what these people are doing to me. I can't take the bullying anymore. I am tired of people calling me 'fat', 'ugly', 'piggy' and all those other words. I just wanna tell my gramma sorry too and I love her. I know she wants whats best for me and I thank her everyday. I am ready to come home, Jesus." I said finishing up my prayer 

I cried for a few more minutes and then lifted the knife up then swung it through me. I fell to ground, with blood oozing out of my mouth. I was laying in a puddle of my blood as I watch August walk in.

"MONAE'!" 

Was all I heard then I blacked out. Maybe this is it. Maybe Jesus finally ready for me to come home.

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- Janiece