Red's point of view
"But I just...love him" I cried loudly which caused my best friend to look at me In such a manner that I could not seem to portray whether it's support, sadness, comforting...or wait it's slowly changing into a huge disgust.
"Have I told you that he is not a good guy?" She asked and before I could even answer the woman instantly cut me off.
"Oh right yes I remember! I have told you about 7 hundred zillion times but did you listen?" She questioned and at the same time before I can even speak up again she cut me off again.
"Yes you're right you did not listen to me, so do not give me that 'i love him' ticket and be so hard on yourself red...we have been in this a thousand times, I sometimes even forget that we are not together, but will all this comforting and bullshit, ah, what can I say? I am better than anyone" Cassandra sigh out and I quiver my lips into a frown while sniffing like a child.
"You are not helping me" I cried out even more and she quickly itched her head before sighing deeply "great I am the bad guy again" she let out before standing up and I quickly grasp against her wrist and pulled the woman back down "please do not leave me" I cried out and she gave me a look again.
"You are such a wasted poor innocent soul who only knows how to give your best and all but people always take advantages, what am I supposed to do with you?" She questioned and I honestly could not process things inside my head.
He was a good man. He really is, I know it we've been on and off for years and even tho we mostly argue we still find certain ways to fix things and he would give me a chance, see? He is very nice.
And now he find our relationship boring which definitely put me into the edge. Am I a bad girlfriend? Can't I make him happy?
Cassandra stroke my hair while I continuously sniff and cry against her arms. Another heavy sigh escaped her mouth "I told you red, so many times, so I will tell you again, that man is not the one for you so stop wasting your time I don't think he sees your worth and I don't ever think that any person will unless you give importance to yourself first...now I suggest that take a break, breath some air and give yourself some self love" she said and inside my head I instantly began to think things out.
Love?
Self-love?
I gasp lightly before quickly pulling away from her "you are pursuing me to do self love, you don't love me anymore as your best friend? Have I been too burden for you? Do you hate me?" I asked as the tears slipped out both my eyes again as the heaviness within my chest is completely buried.
Even my best friend does not want me
What is the worth of living?
What is the worth? If I am unwanted.
Instead of being comforted further Cassandra suddenly allowed her heavy hand to smack against my head which caused me to groan.
"What was that for?" I asked while crying.
"You are so stupid, it's not that I don't love you, selflove means that you don't have to find any other person to fulfill your emotions for the moment, just focus on yourself, don't give your all to others give it to yourself instead" she let out and as I slowly understand what she meant I look down and notice that the tissue box is empty again, I sniff for the hundred time before sighing and nodding my head.
"Yeah...I should do that" I trailed out and my best friend gave me a such a strange look as if she do not believe my words.
"I should do selflove"
"I should give time to myself"
"I should love myself"
"I should care for myself"
"I should not cry over a guy who does not want me"
She smile and slowly nod her head "exactly you go girl" she let out.
"I should give myself all the affection I can"
"I should respect myself"
"Because I deserve better"
"I deserve to be happy"
"I deserve to be loved"
"I only need me-"
All of a sudden my phone vibrated which grabbed my attention, I squint my eyes before hurriedly crawling towards it and checking the message and my eyes widen at what's posted on my notification board.
Paul : Hey...red...I know you messed up badly but can we please talk? I can't lose you. I love you
My whole body was then filled with ecstacy as I read his message, I smile widely and felt myself Instantly got lighted you with hope and so I instantly reply
: I love you more...yes...I will speak with you...just give me chance and I will prove I can be better in our relationship
"Who is that?" Cassandra asked and I look at her with a wide smile.
"He wanted to talk to me!" I exclaimed happily and the woman let out a scoff "do not tell me that's your ex?" She asked and I cleared my throat "well...I...I mean we did not reality break up...it was just a cool off" I said and cassandra automatically stand up and raise both her hands in such defense
"I am done...I am so done...you can have your ways I am going home...you wasted my time" she said and I quicky stand up as well and walk towards her but she's straight away walks to the door.
"Cass! Where are you going?" I asked confused and the woman look back at me with a dull eyes
"I know exactly why they named you that" she said and I furrow my eye squinted confused
"What do you mean?".
"Do you ever wonder why is your name red?" She asked and I honestly am holding the most confusing Expression I have "no? Tell me?" I questioned and she rolled her eyes before bringing up her hand and shove her middle finger right in front of my face.
"Find it out yourself" she said and with that the only person who has always been there for me no matter what turn around and walk to her car before getting in and slamming her car door shut.
"Thanks for coming!" I exclaimed and she automatically boost up and drive in such a fast manner.
I sigh before walking back inside the house and closing the door feeling quite relieved that he is willing to talk with me again.
Walking by the bedroom with my phone in my hand I look at the screen and saw another message.
Paul : tomorrow? At calisto coffee shop? 9:00 am don't be late red, I love you
I smile widely and type In my reply and upon reading his message again i can't help but to become curious about what Cassandra meant.
What is with my name?
"They call me red" I muttered lowly
There's nothing seems to be strange about that.
