skin deep

"scars that run deep"

    "One of the greatest regrets in life, is being what others would want you to be. Rather than being yourself"
        _shannon L. Alder.

   It was a surprisingly sunny day in Edinburgh. Clare adedeji was sited in front of Dr. Clark bitting her bottom lips. She hated therapy session. glaring secretly at her therapist she cursed him ,
Silently praying the sessions would be over .
  
   "Clare...are you listening?"
Dr. Clark asked staring pointedly at her "ugh s_ s sure I am sir" swallowing nervously she stared at her therapist ,  Dr Clark cleared his throat sitting up straight . She does this Everytime , zoning out in the middle of a session.
  " Do you still do what I recommended?"   He Asked staring down at his book and turning the pages  "of course I do, I write in my journal every day wishing to look a certain way" she answered with a frown " I thought we spoke about this, you wishing to look a certain way. Look clare , when you accept the way you are then everything falls into place." He takes a deep breath and continue his repeated speech... feeling like they are always taking a step back " look Clare sometimes I feel like we aren't climbing that ladder ..I have been your therapist since you were five. And I care about you way more than you think , your seventeen now. Look Clare do you think your parents are happy seeing you attend therapy. Do you think their happy seeing you go through all these alone, you..."
" When you are done recollecting shit in my life  let's end the session.and if you feel like am not improving, then stop deceiving my parents by getting money for sessions, just end it am already sick of it!! " Clare interrupted rudely , getting up and grabbing all her belongings hastily. Dr Clark stared at her in disbelief, thoughts running through his mind because Clare has never blown up like this before. Clare walked out frowning , as she tries to suppress her anger. She hated it , she hated when people told her she wasn't improving. she walked down the hallway searching for a particular redhead "Samira!" Clare called out to her best friend, as all the anger she felt drained " how was the session? Did it go well?" Samira asked smiling and handing her  boba tea, her favorite. " It was okay , the usual" she answered lying through her teeth. "Cool let's go... you know someone got her driver's license today ,so I am dropping you off. Is Carmel home?" Samira asked wagging her brown, she has always had a thing for Claire's brother " dude don't start" the girls laugh as they enter the car.
   
  Clare as usual sticks her head out of the window, thoughts running through her mind . Pulling her sleeves down so Samira won't see the fresh cuts on her arm. If you are wondering  why a seventeen years old attends therapy here's why, Clare was diagnosed with vitiligo at the age of four. Vitiligo is a skin condition in which the skin cell, loses its pigment cell (melanocytes). This can result to colour patches in different areas of the body.and this skin condition is common only on melanin colour, it isn't contagious and it is hereditary.
    
"What are you thinking about?"
Samira asked humming to the song playing in the car radio  " nothing much, just stuffs" stretching to get her boba tea from the cup holder , her sleeves rolls up a little. As Samira notices the scars on her arm.
   
     "Why do you do it?" She asked driving attentively " do what?"
"Why do you hurt yourself" Samira whispers almost at the edge of tears " t_t_this is old" she answered shakily , stretching her sleeves down to her Palm. "Clare does that look old to you? Why do you always do this?, Promise me you are going to stop ."
She said wanting to drop the conversation. " I promise" Clare answered looking outside the window as usual. Stopping outside her house, Clare gave Samira a little smile as she goes through her gate. Clare's parents weren't just ordinary people , they did come off as rich people.
As they were both surgeon's. Clare's dad, Mr Balogun adedeji is a Nigerian man from ogun state. He met Deborah Shannon, Clare's mum while schooling in  UK. " Am home!" Clare yelled as she walked through her tilled hallway " hey hunny how was your session ? Was it good?,am sorry I can't talk now ok I gotta run your dad needs me . There's food in the fridge eat whatever you want". Mrs adedeji spoke not letting Clare say hi , she kisses her on the forehead and walks out through the main door. By now Clare was used to her mum and dad always getting busy , she rolled her eyes as she rummages through the fridge. Finding a box off pizza smiling, she put it in the oven as she scrolls through tictoc. " Man coach is really giving us a tuff time am tired" she looks up spotting her big brother Carmel ,which bring a smile to her face " hey witch" Carmel called out smiling   "don't call me that" she answered defensively. Clare has always had a good relationship with her brother, he was like an idol to her .  He is six foot tall just like his dad, but gets his look from his mum. Where as Carmel doesn't have vitiligo , he treats his sister like he does with everyone . always kind " where is mum?" Carmel asked as he picks a slice of pizza from the box, getting a glare from Clare. "She just left for work not so long ago, and how many times have I warned you about touching my food" Clare answered still glaring at her big bro "Sorry to interrupt your sibling Moment buh I will be upstairs".
   Mark Carmel's best friend spoke up. Clare looked up, noticing two familiar  and one unfamiliar faces staring right back at her. Two which she recognize were mark and grey.
  " We will be up stairs" grey spoke up going after mark "okay sis need to take a shower k" he smiled softly at her before running after his friends, but that unfamiliar face kept staring at her, like she was an alien. "Can I help you?" She asked already irritated by the way he was staring at her. "Uhm am sorry, is that normal..I mean your skin. Or are you a performer in a circus of something" he asked  humor laced in his voice , meanwhile Clare was on the verge of tears " am sorry i_ i didn't mean to make you cry. Is it contagious?" That was the last straw as Clare ran upstairs silently crying "am sorry" the unfamiliar boy said already worried . Clare got to her room as she wiped her face , with the incident running through her mind. This is what I have to go through everyday, she thought. People's ignorance with vitiligo,
And their questions that hurts . looking at the razor blade scar's on her arm she fell asleep.