Don't Fear The Reaper - He Has COOKIES {HAITUS}

Don't Fear The Reaper - He Has COOKIES

Boomshakkalaka BOOM!
Boomshakkalaka BOOM!
BOOMSHAKKALAKA BO--

I ripped out my alarm clock and threw it at a wall. "No boomshakkalaka booms at six in the morning! Anime-related songs and t.v. show -related songs only!" I grinned, flipping open my closet and rummaging through my clothes, which mostly consisted cosplay. My eyes landed on my Alfheim Kirito cosplay. I grabbed it and pulled it on, gripping my fake sword.

"Thunder! Thunder! Thundercats -- HOOOOOE!" I cackled, using Kirito's sword as the sword from Thundercats. A knock abruptly intruded my fun. "Sweetie," It was my mom. "As much as I love your interest in the 80s and 90s shit I introduced you to, could you please keep the 'thunders' down?"

"Sorry Okaa-san." I said through the door. I sheathed my sword and sat at my desk, flipping open my laptop, and clicking in the anime site I went to the most to watch anime. I clicked on the mouse, selecting Kuroshitsuji: Season Two. Time for the fun to begin~.

~~~~

"NO CLAUDE, WHY?!" I weeped at eight in the morning. It's a good thing everyone was up already. "ALOIS LOVED YOU! BUT YOU COULDN'T SEE IT, COULD YOU?! YEAH, HE WAS A DOUCHE MOST OF THE TIME, BUT HE WAS YOUR  DOUCHE! WHY CLAUDE, WHY?!" I hugged the screen of my laptop before my phone rang.

Gotta catch 'em all
Gotta catch 'em all

"GYAAAH!" I yelped. I grabbed my phone and glared at it. "Why you scare me Ace Trainer Kakashi? You almost make Alli's heart explode. Baaad Ace Trainer Kakashi. Bad." Yes, I named my phone Ace Trainer Kakashi. Gotta problem with that? No? Good. I answered my phone. "Moshi Moshi?"

"Look at your laptop."

"What? Why? Who is this?! Are you going to shoot my baby?!"

"Just look at your laptop, stupid." I slowly turned my head to see a bright light coming out of my laptop. I almost dropped my phone. "What the Jashin is that?!"

"Don't ask and just walk towards it. You have five minutes before it disappears forever." The line then went dead. I stood there for a good minute before it clicked. "Wait. FIVE MINUTES?! I ONLY HAVE FOUR MINUTES LEFT!" I scrambled, shoving my cosplay into a bag, my charger, my panda pillow which I had promptly named Kung-fu Po, and all my game systems, plus my back-up laptop. I turned around and jumped towards the light, my fingers grazing it before everything went black.

~~~~

"Oi, wake up! You have a job to do!" I groaned. "Leave me alone, temperamental Barney."

"I ain't that giant purple dinosaur freak. Now wake the fuck up before I reap your ass out of existence."

"No, go away."

"Get. Up." I sat up slowly. "I want to sleep." I snapped at a duck's ass. My eyes widen. Wait a second! "SASUKE UCHIHA?!"

"No, dipshit. I just took a form you were familiar with." The Sasuke look-a-like scoffed. I could feel my eye twitch. "GET OUT OF THAT DUCK-BUTT'S FACE AND GET YOUR OWN YOU STUPID I.D. THIEF!"

"Tch." He clicked his tongue in annoyance and shifted. The Sasuke look-a-like turned into the sexy, short-haired hetero version of Grell Sutcliff. Minus the shark teeth. "Holy mother of Jashin...." I gaped. I grew an irk mark. "YOU CAN'T BE REAL!"

"And why not?" The guy asked, scowling.

"You're too pretty to be real!"

"How do you explain Channing Tatum then?"

"The only successful real-life Ken doll that the government created." He snorted and I grinned. "Success! Now who are you and what do you want?"

"You can call me DJ." He crossed his arms, smirking. "And I chose you to be my reaper in training."