Friend Love

I loved you. But, yet all you did was hurt me inside me. You touched me, said things, acted ways, i will never forget. You were a father figure, then a brother, then all of a sudden a fuck buddy. Why? All did was care for you and all i got was sex and doing overly sexual things. I wanted to help you and fix you, but there was no way that was gonna happen. You made me leave her for your sexual life. Yes, i needed out of that relationship but i wouldn't fuck you if i was with her. Did you make me break it off, For your benefit? Or cause you cared at the time? Did you care then saw how sex craved i was and took advantage of that? Or were you just caught in the feeling, Knowing that i would do anything to make you happy? I don't get why you did what you did. Was it all for a void, If it's because you feel in love with me why didn't you break with her. Makes me feel like an ass for something had zero control over. I thought we could get over that, So i acted as if it didn't happen. Then you got more pushy. I always liked you, I wanted to date you. But not the way you seemed like all you wanted was sex. And it made everything so awkward, I didn't know how to react at all. I did everything for you. And now it's bloody history, Why is that? I wanted us to work i really did. And then rage took over and it all was gun to gun point, And it ended like that. It doesn't feel right you not being with me, But it's best? Right? I hope so, I wanna reach out again but i need get myself back up again. But all i still get why after everything we been through why use me?