//spoilers
Ok so back in uh december i think, we went to the mall and bought The Kill Order, the prequel to the original trilogy, and i promised myself to reread it, Which I did but with a lot of caution;
You see, i first read the books when i was like ten and by then, i was very exposed to fandom communities in instagram and Pinterest adn wattpad, so of course i would be very heavily influenced when it comes to my opinions on the characters; i hated teresa with a passion for some reason, i shipped newtmas very religiously, and i was a very big anti brenda for no solid reason.
And when i came around to rereading the story i came in with thoughts like maybe i would hate brenda more or maybe i would be even more angry at Dylan Obrien for acting Thomas out like that, or maybe even throw even more criticism at the film adaptations compared to when i was ten.
But no. I was SO wrong.
Coming into the first book, i was much much more immersed into Thomas' thoughts, though very filled with second hand embarrassment and very angry or annoyed at Thomas' decisions to keep breaking the rules, I connected with him so much more; i was more compassionate towards him this time around. Oh and don't get me started on Newt and Minho's relationship; their friendship, their closeness -- everythign about them SCREAMS otp, down to the very last agonizing drop and crumb.
Second book came along; Would ya look at that i actually ended up liking brenda. She's not as annoying as i remember her to be... like... i actually like her and the image i have of her in my head. AND JORGE !!! i love jorge so much <33 AND THE GROUP B GIRLS??? actually im very indifferent towards them i have no solid opinion on group b lol. But Aris was also definitely-- nope also pretty plainer than i expected him to be; which wasnt a bad thing!! just shows how heavily biased i was to other peoples interpretations of the chracters.
Now; the third book.
I actually did cry a lot of times in the death cure; Because i connected and immersed myself into the story more, that meant i was much more sad and much more affected by certain aspects. I understood a lot more now that I'm older and so many things made so much sense bUT LIKE EVEN THOMAS' DECISION MAKING MADE ME ACHE I WAS IN TEARS FOR MORE THAN A QUARTER OF THE BOOK. I was much more understanding of thomas' pain for Teresa's death. For some reason, the fandom back then hated her adn idk why but i think its because of the film or smth idk but book teresa was chill and i love her adn she deserves so much more than this ending.
And the minewt crumbs in this book. just. chef's kiss. the ANGST WAS EVERYTHING, And down to his very last moments of pure sanity, the only thing newt ever thought about was Minho and i am very very very hurt by this; like why would newt ask THOMAS to off him instead of minho ??? HMM ?? LIKE HE'S MUCH MORE CLOSER TO MINHO THAN HE IS TO THOMAS !!
idk MAYBE BECAUSE HE COULDNT BRING HIMSELF TO ASK HIM TO DO IT ITS TOO BIG OF A BURDEN FOR HIM TO ASK MINHO TO DO THAT sorry im rambling alminewt is my otp adn you can see that in my short stories book lel ook bye
