Love isn't a chemical. (Rick x O.C.) (Rick and Morty fanfic) [Hold/maybe ended]

Twenty-four

Everyone was sitting at the table eating breakfast.

"What's new at school?" Jerry asked, looking at his tablet

"Nothing." Summer said.

"Nothing!" Morty said. "Oh, uh, one of the lunch ladies died. They found her with two holes in her neck and all the blood drained out of her."

"Good lord! Who does something like that?" Beth asked, sitting down.

"Obviously a vampire. W-W-Where's the pepper?" Rick asked. Lily slid it to him as she sipped her coffee.

"Wait, what?! Vampires are real?!" Summer asked.

"Yes, sweetie, vampires are real," Lily said.

"Who knew?" Rick asked sarcastically. "Oh, right, all humanity for hundreds of years now."

"Rick," Lily said, giving him a look

"Yeah, Summer, it's a big universe. Get use to it. R-Right, Rick?" Morty asked.

"Well, what are we gonna do?!" Summer asked, sound a bit panicked.

"We're gonna live our lives until we die. Possibly by vampire," Rick said.

"More likely auto accident or heart attack, but possibly vampire," Lily said, getting up to refill her coffee. She kept listening to the conversation.

"Grandpa Rick, couldn't you, like, use your super knowledge to turn yourself into a teenager and come to our school and help us hunt the vampire down?" Summer asked. There was a brief moment of silence.

"Um - - wow," Morty said.

"Yeah, pretty specific pitch, Summer," Rick said. "I probably could turn myself into a teenager and hang out in the zit-covered, hormone-addled, low-stakes assworld that is high school. But here's my reverse ask - Why in the fuck would I ever do that, ever? And how dare you even ask me that? And why aren't you more ashamed of yourself?

"Rick," Lily said again, sitting back down.

"Dad?" Summer asked, looking at Jerry.

"Be ashamed of yourself, sweetie," Jerry said, not paying attention.

"Jerry! Do you know what you just said to our daughter?" Beth asked.

"Sor-ry! I wasn't paying attention."

"To a conversation about vampires?!"

"A conversation you started," Lily mumbled, looking at her cup nonchalantly.

"Clearly, I didn't know it was about vampires, because I wasn't paying attention, which you would know, if you were paying attention to me!" Jerry said.

"Oh, here we go. Right to the victim role."

"Am I a victim, Beth, or am I married to a mean, unfair monster that always hurts me?!"

"Jesus Christ!" The two scientists said in unison.

"Will you two fix your marriage or get a divorce already?" Rick asked. There was silence at the table again.

"Well, we tried a couples' therapist," Jerry said.

"That's Earth therapy. You might as well ask a horse to fix a merry-go-round," Rick said. "I mean, he'll try his best, but mostly, he's just gonna get horrified." Beth looked at her mother and Lily just shrugged.

"As much as I'd hate to admit it, your father is right."

"I know a place off planet with 100% success rate," Rick said.