There is more than one of him

Chapter 10

Back in his own temporarily rented apartement, Itsuki sunk down on the couch and let his head fall into his hands in defeat. He had been so happy, to have his brother back, hearing this from his boss just now though made him realize something.

His brothers entire life since the moment he was taken away had been utter mess. The words Fukuzawa had used to describe Shuji as the port  mafia bosses toel paired with the cptsd gave him an ugly outlook on what must have happened to his brother. The worst part about it was, he knew, that he had only scratched the surface of what really happened.

How Fukuzawa would convince him to leave with Itsuki was something Itsuki wondered as well. He knew his mother had studied psychology, but this seemed a lot. This seemed like someone who belonged in a restricted part of a mental institution for the rest of his life. If he really did bring him home, they would have to make major changes and adjustments to their houses.

Before he could get lost in his thoughts even more, his phone rang, again, for the probably tenth time this evening.

"Koharu" He answered, he was exhausted. He wished for nothing more than his soon to be wife to be with him, to thorw her arms around him and embrace him in a hug.

"Hey dear, just wanted to check in, I figured the call with Kunikida, was it?, must be over by now. Did something happen, you don't sound too well?"

"I'm fine, or not I guess. I just had a conversation with Shuji's boss. He told me about some mental conditions. They apparently secretly had him diagnosed with, which he doesn't know about and it's just ... it's a lot to take right now"

Koharu on the other side was silent for a bit, she wanted to comfort him, tell him everything was going to be fine, but she knew, from the sound of his voice, nothing was going to be fine, not for a while at least.

"What did he tell you exactly, list it up, so I can get the full picture"

The next time Itsuki spoke his voice was shaking
"Alcohol, drug and nicotine addictions, self harming and suicidal tendencies, frequent suicide attempts, trauma induced anorexia, out of a fear of being poisened, can you imagine being afraid of poison every time you eat? ... and then ... C-PTSD"

Koharu was silent, then she asked. "Can I add your mother to the call? She might want a picture of these conditions."

"Sure"

And so she added Tane Tsushima to the conversation.

"Hey dear, Koharu said, there was something I needed to hear, is everything alright? What happened?" She asked

"Itsuki just told me a summary of what Shuji's boss told him. I thought you might need to hear this conversation."

"Ok, then, what did he say?" Tane asked

"A co worker of Dazai has apparently in secret diagnosed him a bit. Alcohol, drug and nicotine addictions, self harming, suicidal tendencies, frequent suicide attempts, trauma induced anorexia and C-PTSD"

The second that last word left itsuki's mouth his mother let out a loud shocked gasp.

"Did you just say C-PTSD? Do you even know what C-PTSD is?" She asked her son

"Yes, C-PTSD. He is incapable understanding or caring about emotions of others and himself, at least that's how it was explained. He's emotionally completely numbed. ... Apparently, it's caused by ... sexual abuse, like raping, emotional and physical torture or negliegence, years of untreated trauma. I - I can't Imagine what"

His mother was sobbing from the other side. She knew what C-PTSD was, she had during her studies, worked with C-PTSD patients. Although patients was a bit wrong to say. C-PTSD was a life long disorder, something that unlike PTSD will never lessen, something that is entirely untreatable. Those are the people who are ofthen referred or misdiagnosed as psycopaths. They learn how to play into peoples emotions and fake everthing, because they themselves don't care don't comprehend what emotions are.

Purely rational beings, because the irrational side of them has been taken away by force.

"Do you know that C-PTSD is something constant?" She asked with a tremble in her voice.

"I guessed it was, Fukuzawa, his boss, didn't exactly say it, but he did hint on it."

"I know I've asked this like five times before, but are you sure you don't want me to come? If not to help him, then maybe to help you. I can't imagine, that this is easy for you to see." His mother asked him again.

"You know I would love to have you here as much as you do, but he said no. I think he's just ashamed of how he turned out in comparishion to me. We hardly look like twins anymore and I guess he doesn't want more people to know what kind of wreck he is. Fukuzawa did however tell me, that he wanted to get me and him out for our safety. The port mafia apparently controls the entire city from the underground up into the government. apparently they're looking for him and though if we're next to each other we look quite different, we do still share the same face more or less, so he will think of something to get him to come with me"

"So basically you're saying, that there is a bounty on the head of one of my sons who looks exactly like my other son, in a city in which the both of you are currently from an organisation, that controles the whole city?"

Ok, now that she said it like that, it sounded a lot more dangerous than it had when Fukuzawa had said that -not that that was the acctual context Fukuzawa had been speaking about.-

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Two days later, Fukuzawa's words proved to be true, one way or another at least.

When he heard a knock he was confused. Who would be coming to him at 3 in the morning? Then he shot upright. No matter how irrational it seemed at that time. In his head all alarms were ringing. The port mafia.

Of course, they didn't want him here, he was interfering with their buisness, they had come to rid themselves of him. He didn't dare to move. There was another knock.

Itsuki closed his eyes and began to pray.

A third knock.

this time he was sure they were going to run down the door.

"Itsuki! Geeze, open up. I know you're awake. If the port mafia were here to get rid of you, you wouldn't have the time to acctually realize they were doing so." Dazai's voice sounded through the door.

Now he felt stupid. He got up and opened the door.

in front of him was Dazai, dressed in a black coat instead of the beige one. A small bag at his side hinting for the beige coat and from the looks of it a couple of other closes- a couple was too much, maybe one pair of pants, a shirt and underwear.

Itsuki was baffeled.

"Dazai wha-"

"Osamu ... I'm not Shuji anymore, but you can call me by my first name. So Osamu" He stated, as if the entire sitation wasn't weird

"Osamu, what are you doing here?"

"Coming with you to Kawasaki. Leaving in the night is easier, than leaving during the day."

So Fukuzawa had done his part of the deal -what deal?- Dazai was willing to come.

"Ehm, great, ok yeah, yes, we can do that. I just need to get my stuff ready hold on."