The state I'm in COMPLETED

Out

Your jade eyes and chestnut hair,
A smile so soft, a face so fair.
Who else could ever truly see
The love I held so endlessly?

You left, and all my dreams withdrew,
Yet still, you linger—always near.
A ghost of laughter, echoes blue,
A whisper only I can hear.

Now silence hums where warmth once lay,
And fear entwines with every breath.
Will love find me another way,
Or will I ache for you till death?

"Excellent, Miss Cameron. You've captured the feeling of loss beautifully, as the assignment required. A lovely poem—simple, direct, and evocative." The professor nodded approvingly, flipping through his notes. I sat down, avoiding everyone's gaze, but I could feel Rose's eyes on me, burning with concern.

She was worried. I had shut her out completely. To be honest, I had shut everyone out.

I was living in a shell—moving through the days in autopilot. I ate only when I had to, I buried myself in music, books, and schoolwork. I went to work because I needed the money, but I barely spoke to anyone. The only calls I answered were work-related or from my mom, because I didn't want to worry her.

I hadn't told my family about the breakup, either. I couldn't bear the "I told you so" from my father, nor the pity from my brothers. Most of all, I didn't want to say the words out loud. Saying them would make them real.

The flat was a mess, but I didn't care. Rose picked up the slack, cleaning without a word of complaint, giving me the space I needed. She was patient, but I could see the frustration creeping in.

Three weeks.

Three weeks since Harry walked out of that hospital room. Since he said he couldn't do this anymore. Since I felt my chest cave in and my world collapse.

No more threats. No more slashed tires. No more ominous "gifts" arriving at my door.
Silence.

His father called a week ago. I didn't answer. I couldn't. Because the moment I did, I'd break.

I hadn't cried since that first night. Not one tear. I wasn't sure if it was strength or emptiness, but I felt like a ghost haunting my own life. Every song, every smell, every place—it all reminded me of him.

"...and it isn't fair to me."

His words echoed in my head. Over and over.

I lay in bed and closed my eyes, but all I could feel were his hands on me, his lips on mine, the way he smelled, the way he held me, the way he was. I remembered his dumb arguments with Rose, his deep, contagious laughter. The way he'd drive hours just to spend the night with me. How he'd cover me with a blanket when I fell asleep in my armchair, a book still open in my lap.

"Yeah... nothing new. She's fine. She's doing fine."

Rose's voice came from the hallway. She was on the phone. Harry? Lucy? Someone else? I didn't know. I didn't ask. I didn't care.

Leo had come by a few times, but I barely acknowledged him. I just sat in front of the TV, staring at the screen, nodding when he asked if I needed anything.

It was a breakup.

And like any breakup, it hurt.

But this?

This hurt like hell.

The emptiness, the ache, the fucking absence of him—it was unbearable.

"Get up. We're going out tonight."