Hug Me

lll- A PROPOSAL

It's been 4 years and I didn't know anything about you.
You left without a goodbye or even a hug, the only thing i asked to learn to live without you.

But how could i do that?

My life belonged to you.
I felt like I started breathing when I met you because until then I was non-existent.

Mother and the rest of the "family" were more than happy to hear that you were gone, but then didn't my happiness count?

During those long years my two best friends took care of me, I had to go to several psychiatric appointments because since Jair left I didn't let anyone else into my world, which now looked worn and colorless.

-when will you stop depending on him! -shouted jace.

Jace was right and I knew it, of course I didn't want to go that far either.

I settled further on the couch, continuing my gaze at the uninteresting program on television.

-Can you at least answer me?!- he vented, already tired of the whole situation

-Can you at least take my silence for an answer?- I said in a low tone.

-We want to help you!- Max intervened, she's been my best friend like Jace since high school.
max and jace saw all my romance with Jair as well as helped him.
Eventually, they fell in love and are still together today.

-Sorry, but for your information this doesn't help me, and please avoid touching something that only I should be concerned about.- I finished.

I knew it might sound rude, but talking about Jair hurt me and that was my way of defending myself and pretending the pain didn't exist anymore.
I would appreciate their help, but the problem is, there was no way anyone could help you when it comes to regret, something you didn't do soon came from you and not the other.
they themselves knew they couldn't help

I stole a lot of time from them just with my love life

-Whatever you want, sorry for yelling at your rave, we're leaving, it's getting late, see you tomorrow.

"I'm the one who should apologize.."

...

-hey Raven, the boss is calling you to his office.
what is going on between you?

I mentally prepared myself for what was to come, letting out a slight sigh, I placed my hands on the table, standing up until I completely straightened my posture.
regardless of what the other employee said, I continued down the hall.
before entering I took a deep breath, so without further ado I was face to face with the most feared person in the company.

-Hello Raven how are you feeling today? - sounded the voice that had just filled that place, a typical CEO's room, shades of brown and black, a large window that allowed to have all the view of the city and beyond.

Luvian is considered a leader in size and economy. People will do anything just to get a job here and i totally understand why i went through the same thing
-I am fine.- I said suspiciously.

Mr. Garles was always straight to the point and never greeted his employees, "hello", "how are you?" that didn't exist, at least that's what I heard from my co-workers.

- Mr. Garles, how can I help you?

-We received an invitation from General Charles to visit the army parliament for a month and a half.
General Charles suggested doing a photo shoot on his battlefield, he wanted a person who could convey the feeling and not just the sight.
he wants to show why these actions are done, what drives him to do so.
General Charles wants to be able to correctly explain the motto that all those soldiers carry on their backs: "even if the soldier dies fighting, he feels more alive in his soul".

- So I'm your choice sir?-I questioned.

I almost created an ocean in the hands of so much nervousness, I have difficulty communicating with anyone, much less leaving my comfort zone, but I could never refuse such an invitation to all the military who defend our country, being able to photograph them is like a blessing to me.

-so what do you think, can you accept Raven?- his eyes lit up as he waited for my answer.

I started snapping all the fingers I had, an act of nervousness, I stared at the floor for about 5 seconds and then my answer was said.

- I accept, but does anyone accompany me?

- yes Jonas, we put him as your helper to carry all the necessary material.

Why him!?? Jonas, the biggest gossip in the company, who thinks the CEO and I have an affair.

- Next week is when you go.

-What!! -my voice came out more altered than I thought.

Mr. Garles was startled but tried to hide it as best he could, massaging his shoulder while skipping words like "I've been working so long." "taking care of this paperwork makes me old" and much more. Without delay, I left as quickly as possible and re-entered that great corridor

on the way back to my desk, I remembered him.
Jair told me about one of his three dreams that he wanted to be a soldier to protect his country and the other two he said he couldn't tell because they might not come true and I was fine with that.

But not now, because I'll never know what would make him happy.

"I would like to go back in time, this is my only wish"

Will he find someone better than me, someone who can give him love, someone who makes sure his love never withers like a rose when it runs out of its heat source?

"but you know i feel like my heat source is gone?"