Okay so I just walked home.
I started to sing.
But then I started to cry.
Why?
Because I can't think about next year without crying.
I cry everyday because of it.
I don't want to go to PathFinder.
I want to go to Quabbin.
I want to stay with all my friends.
I need them.
Yea, I do.
Believe it or not, I need them.
You're gonna think I'm ridiculous.
But I need them.
Whenever life gets hard,
They help me.
They care about me.
Nothing that my family could ever understand.
Especially the 7th graders.
Yea call me a loser.
Call me a fag.
Call me a loner,
Stupid,
Annoying,
I don't care.
My friends will be there to help me.
I really don't want to go to pathfinder.
My parents just will never understand.
I'm gonna be bullied.
I just know it.
I always have and always will be bullied.
Except these past months,
The hate is gone.
Yea I'm only 13...
I "don't know what love is"
I don't care.
Yea honestly I do.
Wow I have a boyfriend.
Doesn't mean I'm a slut.
A skank.
Or a whore.
No that's not what it means.
It means there is a person who is kind and supportive and nice and loves another person,
We just happen to be opposite gender.
I don't know why I'm never trusted anywhere but off topic.
Okay back on topic,
Yes I do know what love is.
Because I have these friends...
and I love them more than anything.
"Oh they're just friends"
"You'll make new ones"
No.
I won't.
You people just don't even understand.
You don't understand how hard my life is.
I can't say a word without being called ridiculous.
I can't walk around without being judged.
I can't be me without being hated.
I love my friends.
I don't want new friends.
"Well you can't always get what you want"
Yea you say that,
But yet...
This one thing,
This one simple little thing,
It can happen,
I can stay with them.
I need them to live.
"You're over exaggerating"
No.
I'm actually not.
They are the only.
Keyword,
ONLY
reason I am happy.
Without them I would be back to that
Always upset and annoying person that I was.
They changed me,
"You shouldn't have to change for anyone"
Yea well I wanted to.
I changed for me.
I changed myself based on other people,
I don't care if that's not what I'm "supposed to do" ...
I did it and I'm proud.
Who says I always follow the rules.
We all know I don't.
And I'm not going to let some people push me around.
See I get so emotional over stupid stuff,
I wrote this whole paragraph about school.
Like what?
This whole thing was just because I want to stay at my school.
So yea,
This is how I feel on that.
It's still not gonna change anything.
I still have to go to pathfinder.
I'm being forced to.
I'm sorry to my friends.
I know I promised I would never leave you,
But I have no choice now but to leave,
I'm leaving your life forever,
I'm so sorry.
It wasn't my choice.
In fact,
I don't have a choice.
I'm so so so very very very very very sorry!
I love you all so much! ❤️
