Ashtons pov;
12th Januray 2015
Dear diary
Ive been in this shit hole for almost two weeks now and I fucking hate it.
Theres nothing even wrong with me why am I here? Just because I dont eat they think they can lock me up in a room where all I do is stare at four white walls all day long. I absoloutley hate it, I have no friends and my therapist is a bitch, thinking she knows what is best for me when she really doesnt. Its infuriating.
Most of the people in this dump are girls with an odd boy here and there not that I talk to them though. I miss my family and friends from back home, I miss the garage jams with the boys - not that were anything big yet but one day we will be but most of all I miss my drums and being able to take out my anger,stress and sadness on them.
There is a certain girl here who quite catches my eye. Ive never spoke to her though, she doesnt really seem like the friendly type. I think her name is Iris
Or somthing like that?
She's exceedingly beautiful and her bright blue eyes are captivating. Her hair is a lilac colour to match her pretty name and cascades down her slim back. She has a flower tattoo on her left shoulder and a few smaller ones on her arms and hands. Many pericings fill her body but I paticually like her black metal lip ring as it makes her pink lips look even fuller.
Im not sure why shes in this place she seems normal enough but then again dont we all?
I think I should probably introduce my self.
Im Ashton Irwin.
Age; 18
Date of admision; 1st January 2015
Reason; Bulimia nervosa and Anxiety.
When I was around the age of 16 I was badly bullied about my weight and looks, basically just the way I was, this led up to a minor depression lasting around half a yeaer during that year I began to diet and cut not being happy with the way I looked. I just wanted to feel good about my self. Some people say boys are pathetic for dieting and wanting to loose weight and I thought that too, I eventually began having nightly panic attacks about the way I looked but I ignored it and stopped eating completley hoping it would help me loose weight and even though It did the bullying continued . My body began to fail me and wouldnt work like I wanted it too, In total I lost about three stone taking my weight down to seven stone which is bad for a 16 year old boy but I didnt care I was only happy I was loosing weight. A few days after my 17th birthday I collapsed and was addmitted into hospital for three nights, my body had shut down and I was force fed through a tube. After long enough my eating picked up and I began getting healthier and more happy with the way I was, this lasted around a year before I relapsed going months without eating, the hospital were shocked my body had supported me for this long and then I was admitted here, st.charlies Rehab centre.
They say im stuck here until I become 'healthy and happy again' although there basically telling me Im not getting out till Im 'normal again'.
But what is normal?.
I understand im not but what is, being happy? popular? Actually being able to go outside and not have a panic attack because if thats normal then im certinally not.
''Ashton, hunny its time for somthing to eat'' my nurse Becky called as she entered my room.
"Coming" I weakly smiled although I wouldnt be eating tonight.
Alright Diary I gotta go but im sure I'll be back soon.
I stood up from my desk picking up the diary and hiding it under my matress.
Making my way down the long pale corridor I bumped into a petite figure knocking them over.
"Shit im sorry" I muttered helping up the person on the floor, only to realise it was Iris. Wow she was even more beautiful up close.
She returned a smile before leaving me standing alone in the now empty corridor smiling to myself.
Maybe I couldnt make a million friends but I could try and make one, and I was derermined for it to be her even if she didnt want to be mine.
Okay sooo here it is, chapter one of my new book ;))) - the italics are what ashton is writing in his diary and normal is the present , tell me what you think and yeah vote and comment bc it means millions
Elle xoxox
