Lando's POV
Hi, my name is Lando Norris and im a formula 1 driver at Mclaren.
Ive been in Mclaren for 3 years now. The first 2 years i was with teammate and also best friend Carlos Sainz. We were perfect together, we had so much fun and i was glad i was discovering f1 with him. He made me feel at ease and comfortable all the time.
Ofcourse i fucked up and fell in love with him after 1 year. I never told him and its been 2 years. I still like him alot and my best friend Luisa knows this. I was actually going to tell him last year, but then he decided to announce that he had been talking with Ferarri. I was very sad and very anxious. I thought i had done something to make him want to leave or maybe he had found out i liked him and it made him uncomfortable. The night he told me and the rest of the team i had gone to Luisa and freaked out. I starting questioning myself and it was my fault he was leaving. Luisa didnt think so and made me call carlos to ask if it was my fault.
Now that might seem cruel but Carlos knew about my anxiety and after i asked him he hang around the phone for like an hour telling me that it wasnt my fault and why he was switching teams. Multiple times he told me it had nothing to do with me and that it wasnt anything i had done. It made me feel better but i was obviously still very sad. Luisa was the best though. She was by my side when he was leaving and has been since then. Ive had some anxiety attacks now that he left, she was there most of the times to help me out.
Carlos and I are still the bestest of friends, so its not like we dont speak but it just feels different. Carlos thinks im doing fine and i want to keep it that way. Luisa has told me multiple times that she thinks i should tell him that i have been having anxiety attacks like almost every race weekend, but i dont wanna make him feel guilty. Besides the reason i have them are stupid anyways. It just dumb, its most times me overthinking the race and then i get flashbacks from the night Carlos said he was going to Ferrari next season and then i think he hates me and bla bla bla all that crap. If i tell Carlos i have attacks im going to have to tell him why and i dont want him to see me as a baby so i tell him im doing great and suffer alone.
Its Friday today and also race weekend in Silverstone so today we have 2 practices and tomorrow practice 3 and qualifying. Daniel and i were hanging mostly today seeing as we also had to do a challenge for the Mclaren youtube channel. It was fun and i was glad i had something to do to take my mind of Carlos.
Daniel has been nothing but great to me, he has been like an older brother which is very nice seeing as my actual brother, oliver isnt here most of the times. Now Danny and i were walking back to the paddock as we just had finished our second practice for today. I was planning on going home and maybe gaming a bit and then sleep.
After Danny and i went to the paddock, we talked with the team on strategy and how we felt in the car. We had a meeting and after that i said goodbye to everyone, got into my car and left to go sleep.
As usual i didnt sleep much, im used to it by now. It always happens. I start thinking bout the races and feel anxious and i sleep but just not as good as i want. I dont feel refreshed, i feel just as tired as i was before i went to bed.
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Its Saturday, qualifying day. so far so good. Practice 3 was good, the car felt good and i really think we have a chance at the race tomorrow. I also have been doing better than last weekend, i havent been feeling too anxious and i havent even had a anxiety attack yet. Last weekend i got one before the quali but today i dont think thats gonna happen. Im not stressed and my hands are not shaking so i think im good. I also dont really have any time to overthink seeing as i have been talking to media people for the last hour so maybe thats why im still chill.
