Cameron x Nash Short Stories - cash -

Can't Make You Love Me Part Three

I'm devastated. There's no other way to put it. I see my dreams going up in flames, I won't get into another trauma residency. I'm so mad, I saved that girls life and yet I'm being punished for it. I understand the need to wait for an attending or the chief resident but she didn't have time to wait. Was I really supposed to tell the entire team that I can't save her life because I need to wait for an attending?

"No, you can't do this. Please,don't do this." I tell him quietly, I know the pain in my voice is apparent and I can't stop the tears from falling. This is my worst nightmare come true. When you are suspended that basically means you're done for, it's just a formality because they have to follow a certain procedure that states there has to be a suspension before termination.

"That kind of reckless behavior is intolerable. One wrong move and you could have caused her serious damage," Cameron states and I sit down on the bed and stare down at the floor.

"It was either that or she dies. I made the right choice, I saved her life. She has a chance to recover now because of me." I tell him firmly and when our eyes meet Cameron is looking at me with his brow furrowed.

"I understand that, Nash. But we can't have our residents breaching protocol because they think they're making the right decision." He tells me flatly and he just doesn't give a fuck that he's basically ruining my life. I can imagine returning to North Carolina with the news that I have been kicked out of my residency program. My parents were so proud of me, I'm basically the first family member to get a college degree. Most of my family works on the small farm that my parents own and I didn't want to do that, I had bigger dreams to be a surgeon.

People doubted that I would make it through my pre-med program and I proved them wrong. They doubted I'd pass the MCAT and get accepted into medical school and I proved them wrong again. I graduated with the highest honors and I was matched with one if the best trauma residency programs. To return to North Carolina now would be so embarrassing. I'm sure I can be a resident at the local community hospital but that's not what I want for myself.

I don't say anything else to Cameron and after a few moments of silence, I hear him leave and I stare at the ground as I resign myself to the fact that I'm no longer a trauma resident here. I wipe my eyes quickly and grab my things. I need to leave before anyone enters and sees me. I'm sure the news will spread quickly and I don't want to face them. I don't want to see the smug look on Caniff's face, I don't have a rich daddy on the board of directors to save my spot. I also don't want to see the look of pity that everyone else would give me.

I head to my small apartment and when I get home I lie in bed and curl up in a fetal position and I cry. I cry hard as my heart breaks. I've been deluding myself by denying that I have actual feelings for Cameron because I do. The fact that he's the one that kicked me off the program without caring at all about what he's doing to me makes this entire situation so much worse.

I fall into an exhausted sleep hours later.

When I wake the next morning I stay in bed. I can't leave just yet because I have to attend a meeting where the termination is made official. I don't leave my apartment the entire time. I ignore all the calls I receive from acquaintances and even from Matt. I don't want to talk to anyone.

I crave to be in the OR, saving a life. A hospital in rural North Carolina will not be the same. Who would want to hire an attending where the most action in the hospital they trained at is a broken bone or something simple.

I finally receive the call I've been waiting for a week later, I don't pick up the phone but I listen to the voicemail. It's from the secretary of the residency program letting me know when my meeting is.