byler oneshots

25 - i wish you were a girl

*summer after freshman year*
*mike and will aren't together*
*mike pov*
*ANGST*

I run to the ringing phone and pick it up to hear the sound of Will's soft breathing on the end.

"Hi, Mike!" he says enthusiastically, my mood immediately lightening at his voice.

"Will! Hi! What's up?!" I say, smiling from ear to ear.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to watch sunset with me? We could meet at that field over by Dustin's?" he asks.

"That sounds perfect. See you soon!" I say. I run back into my room and grab my favorite Vans T-shirt and black shorts with my black converse. When I'm ready, I hop on my bike and pedal quickly past Dustin's house and then to the field that Will and I watch sunset at a few times a week.

When I get there, Will isn't here yet, so I sit down in the grass as the evening yellow sun begins to melt into orange and pink. I hear a rustling sound behind me and turn around to see Will walking towards me.

"Hey." I say, all the sudden becoming shy.

"Hi." he says, sitting down next to me. Our legs are touching and I can practically feel my heart beating in my chest and my pulse in my wrist as our hands move closer. The sky is now painted pink and purple with think fluffy clouds scattered above the field, and I look over to see Will.

Will.

God, he looks so beautiful. The way his hair is falling over his forehead and into his eyes. How his deep green eyes are sparkling as he watches the sky. The way his brows knit together when he's happy or amused. And his smile. The way he smiles widely as he watches day turn into night as our legs touch and he shuffles a little closer to me.

It's been almost two months since Will told me how I felt and I had to turn him down. It was the most heart wrenching and painful thing that I've ever had to do, but I can't like a boy. I just can't. It's not right. My dad had told me. My mom had told me. The kids at school have told me.

I just can't.

But god, I've regretted saying I didn't feel the same way every since that day, because it was an utter and complete lie. I feel the same. I have always felt the same and I think I'll always feel the same.

Just as I'm staring at him, he looks my way and meets my eyes.

"Why are you looking at me?" he says, causing me to blush.

"I wasn't." I say defensively.

"Yes you were! I saw you." he teases.

"Was not." I say like a little kid.

"Was too." he mocks back. The more we laugh and tease, the closer our faces get. The closer our lips get. Before I can process, I press my lips to his, pulling back a millisecond later.

"Mike..." he says, but trails off. I can feel tears now streaming down my face as I bury my head in my lap.

"Mike, what's wrong?" he asks, obviously still flustered by the fact that I just kissed him.

"I'm sorry." I sob into my knees. I can feel Will's hand now rubbing my back to comfort me, but it only makes me feel worse.

"Don't be sorry. I'm just - I'm just confused. Really confused, but I know you might need to think or - or do whatever you need. Don't feel pressured to talk to me." Will says, stuttering a few times in the process.

When I lift my head from my lap, there is a look of worry on Will's face that makes me insanely sad.

"I wish you were a girl." I whisper, taking his face in my hand. A single tear falls from his eyes at my harsh yet relieving words.

"I know." he says quietly, kissing my cheek and wiping away my tears.

I lay on the grass and he lays his head on my chest as stars start to appear above us.