The Mercy of Birds

CHAPTER 40: SING FOR ABSOLUTION

CHAPTER 40
SING FOR ABSOLUTION

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A cloud of déjà vu engulfed her when she stepped out of her chamber that afternoon. Cameron wasn't in his music room even if she had knocked multiple times and she couldn't sense any movement in either Nicholas' and Victor's room even when she had taken the time to wait if she could see shadows shifting from the gap under their doors. She decided to barge in at once when she couldn't refrain from the anxious impetus and discovered that their space had been deserted, the sheets were removed, and blankets were folded and stuffed inside the wardrobe, as though there had never been a sign of them living here for almost a week with her and Cameron.

Her eyes widened and she skittered to the first floor. "Cameron?"

The man appeared to her in the kitchen, typing on his phone, and sipping something from a cup that he placed on the table before him. He perked up when he heard the rush of footsteps, meeting her halfway as he gauged the sullen expression on her face. He wanted to bring her into his arms but he was unsure whether it was safe to do so. "CC, you're awake. Are you okay?"

She averted her gaze to the view of the kitchen island. There was something there, a sign of memory, a feeling leaving its marks on the most mundane things, like the ladle, the stove, the plates...

Cameron, never more acutely aware than he was right now, followed her gaze.

"Bad dream," she muttered.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" in his chest, his heart skipped a beat.

Though she didn't answer that part. "Where is Nicholas and Victor?"

His mouth turned dry. She doesn't remember.

Words escaped him as he fumbled on a way to respond, and if he were to tell her the truth, would her reaction be the same as before? Then there was this egregious detail that he and Nicholas were convinced that they were losing their mind when they heard it came from her mouth while she was consumed by the hysteria and Dr. Singh's frightening insinuation...

He feared the unknown knowledge that he was going to uncover. He feared the ever after.

His hand hovered over her, anticipating a reaction, but none came as he was able to hold her cheeks without her retreating too far and shutting him off of the crevasse where it became the only place for him to be able to reach her out. He wanted to know. He wanted to know what was really going on inside, because the incongruency of her expression only deluded him. Her face never seemed to really manifest her emotions harmoniously, as though the magnitude of a sentiment that she was experiencing was either lacking or immoderate. A disequilibrium of feeling and reaction.

"The storm had abated... they left..." she answered for herself as she stepped away from him to the window above the sink that overlooked the side lawn.

He bit his lips and stood by watching her as she turned around once again.

"It's too bad... that they were leaving in such a hurry... they didn't even say goodbye... what did they say?"

She doesn't remember anything, he repeated to himself as he was still undecided whether that was a good or a bad thing for her.

How was he going to tell this to Nicholas? What would be his reaction? It was bad enough when he had conveyed the meeting with Dr. Singh with him, and even that conveyance Cameron had tempered to make it sound less severe than how it actually was.

Perhaps, it served to alleviate her mental state right now, but then they would never be able to get an answer. Must she be subjected to the kind of acute stress again so that she could elaborate something? Could he ever bear to see her under such pressure? Was searching for an answer more important than just keeping her alive?